Archive for the ‘Gilmore Girls’ Category

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AI: Artificial Intelligence

May 31, 2011

“Oh Max, Rory is very low maintenance.  Kind of like that robot kid in AI, only way less mother-obsessed.  Oh my God, that kid was so annoying.  I would have pushed him out of the car while it was still moving.”  – 2.3

I’ve seen this movie before, many years ago.  I remember it being good, but I also remember the ending making me feel really uncomfortable.  I may have had trouble sleeping afterwards.  I mean, both Stanley Kubrick and Steven Spielberg played big roles in this movie, and they’ve managed to scare the crap out of me for pretty much my entire life between ET and the Shining.  I also remember it being very long.  So, here goes.

  1. I can’t imagine strictly limiting pregnancies.  In that world would there be better sex education and more reasonably priced birth control?  Because that would be great.
  2. The doctor in the cryogenics lab was in an episode of How I Met Your Mother I just watched.  He was wearing a toupee at Marshall and Lily’s wedding.
  3. Why would you want a kid that never ages?  I feel like that would get annoying.
  4. Haley Joel Osment was a cute kid.  Unlike his stupid little sister on the Hannah Montana show.
  5. That’s a freaking awesome bed.  I want a bed that’s kind of like a space pod with a moon light behind it.
  6. Why would you leave a huge decision like imprinting on a robot child to have for the rest of your life to your very unstable wife who is mourning the loss of her own son?  Clearly she’s not the best person to do this.
  7. How come the dad doesn’t imprint on the kid?  I thought this movie was futuristic.  The woman is doing all the cooking and cleaning and is the only one who is parenting this robot kid.  Sounds like the stone age to me.
  8. Martin is Matt from Lizzie Maguire!  I miss Lizzie Maguire.
  9. Ewwww….spinach is bad for robots.Martin’s kind of evil.
  10. Ok, I know he looks real, but he’s still just a robot.  Just take him to the lab and have him destroyed.  He tried to kill your human son.
  11. You don’t really need to do much to Jude Law to make him look like this perfect, artificial man.  He kind of already looks that way.
  12.  Also, I really want to watch I Heart Huckabees now.
  13. Giant moon balloon…how cool is that?
  14. As a former nanny, it makes me sad that they used robots as nannies.
  15. No!  Teddy!
  16. Jon Hamm?  Nice cameo, Jon.
  17. Maybe building robots that can feel was a bad plan, guys.
  18. Mad Eye Moody?  Either I watch too much tv, or this movie is filled with a lot of random actors.
  19. Adrien Grenier?  Really?!
  20. This Dr. Know thing is like texting Google.
  21. I’m going to assume that robots were not created to lie.  So how can you frame one for murder?  There has to be some kind of secret camera or something in them to see for sure if they actually murdered someone.
  22. They tricked David.  Bastards.
  23. Here’s my question.  If you can create an artificial child, make it capable of love and dreaming…why can’t you reverse the imprinting on one?
  24. I feel like there wouldn’t be that much of a market for artificial children.  They’re kind of creepy.
  25. Now I remember why the ending creeped me out.  Stupid aliens.
While aliens and any talk about the world ending totally freaks me out, this is a really interesting movie.  And actually, the ending isn’t that creepy.  It’s actually kind of sweet.
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Them!

May 31, 2011

Lorelai:  But the life we had is going to morph into this like mutation that we could never possibly have conceived.

Rory:  Like the giant ants in ‘Them!’? – 2.03

As with most horror movies I’m asked to watch for this blog, I started this one early in the morning so I would have the whole day to recover from it before having to go to sleep tonight.  I also took my shower before watching it, because I have a feeling I might be scared to afterwards.  I know it’s only a 50’s horror movie, which normally isn’t scary…but it’s about bugs.  I don’t do bugs.

  1. Man, I can just picture cute little 50’s girls at the drive in with boys in their school sweaters getting all cozy in the front seat because they’re scared of this movie.
  2. Creepy stuff always happens in New Mexico.  And a little girl holding a doll?!  They’re just asking to creep people out.
  3. This would never happen now.  A town wouldn’t be wiped out by giant ants without the rest of the world knowing.  Someone would put it on Facebook.  Probably with pictures or video.
  4. They all seem awfully calm about shooting at this giant ant…
  5. My bible doesn’t have any prophecy about giant ants.  Ok, I’ll admit, I haven’t read the whole thing.  Maybe it does.
  6. I like how they’re teaching Dr. Medford to speak on a walkie talkie.  “Say over.”  “But I’ve just said it.”  “Say over and out if you’re finished.”  “But she knows I’m finished!”
  7. I’m pretty sure this movie’s not going to scare me.  The ants aren’t all that scary looking.  And no one else in the movie seems all that freaked out.  Except for that little girl.  She’s freaking out.
  8. I think in this situation, I would say “Screw women’s rights.”  You don’t want women in the giant ant nest?  Sounds good to me.
  9. Um, clearly an ant is coming through that hole, guys.  Maybe do something before it does.
  10. Ewwwwww….giant ant eggs.  Ten bucks says we get to see them hatch.
  11. There’s something scary about winged queen ants…
  12. Ants make slaves out of their prisoners?  Is that science, Dr. Medford?
  13. Oh Texans, they say the craziest things.  Flying saucers shaped like ants?  That’s just crazy.
  14. The alcoholic ward of the hospital seems fun.  “Make me a seargent!  Give me the booze!”
  15. Reservoir basins all look the same to me.  Like the location of the drag race at the end of Grease.
  16. Ok, the head of the air force just made an emergency announcement that the city is under attack by giant ants.  Why is no one reacting?
  17. I hope Peterson lives.  I like him.  He saves little kids.
  18. Don’t tell her that her kids are alive until you get them out and away from the ants!
  19. No Peterson!!!
  20. Damn that atomic bomb.
Well, we killed the giant ants.  But what other giant things are we going to find as a result of this new atomic bomb age?!  It’s insanity!
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Billy Jack

May 26, 2011

“You can’t see a Billy Jack movie too many times.”  – 2.3

The only stuff I know about this movie is what they show in Gilmore Girls.  Otherwise, I’m out.

  1. Nice theme music.  I love the 70s.
  2. It seems silly to try to catch horses while you’re riding on horses.
  3. We’re only 5 minutes in and I’m thoroughly convinced that Billy Jack is the most badass guy in the world.
  4. Hepatitis, a sore tooth, and pregnant?  You hit the jackpot, little lady.
  5. I want to be Billy Jack’s apprentice.  I want to be an apprentice to a badass.
  6. Totally shot down, Bernard.  Maybe it’s because your name is Bernard.
  7. How can you be suspicious of pacifists?  You pour flour on people who aren’t white to make them white and then get suspicious of their intentions?
  8. Holy crap, Billy Jack!  You just beat the hell out of those kids!
  9. Dude, you were doing so well with your bare feet.  How did they get the best of you?
  10. Next time the police come in to your school to search for something, just pick up a guitar and sing really loudly.  Words of wisdom, kids.
  11. It’s Johnny Fever!  Oh, WKRP in Cincinnati.
  12. That’s the most exciting City Council meeting I’ve ever seen.
  13. Hold on, Billy gets bitten by a snake over and over again in order to have a vision?  …Crazy…
  14. Poor Martin.  He’s got a broken leg, he’s just going to buy some paint, and the cop hits him in the stomach with a pipe.
  15. Street theatre is funny.
  16. Pulling a knife on a girl and forcing her to take her clothes off?  Oh, you’re such a man.
  17. I would drive my car into the lake too over having a dislocated elbow.
  18. What the hell is wrong with this Bernard kid?  Kidnap and rape?  Seriously?
  19. That pacifist chick is badass, shooting a gun at the bad guys.
  20. They killed Martin?!  What the hell!
  21. Billy Jack just killed a guy with a karate chop.  Freaking awesome.
  22. This seems like an awful lot of trouble for one runaway.
  23. Aw, Jean loves Billy Jack.
  24. She gets shot in the leg and his response is “You crazy nut.”
  25. This is not the Billy Jack movie that they watched on Gilmore Girls…  I hope you all with let that slide.

A little more violent than I tend to like.  But it was interesting.  I wish I had a Billy Jack in my life to kick some ass when necessary.

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Life Of Brian

May 18, 2011

Rory:  We can watch Holy Grail on tape again.

Dean:  Okay, but I am not talking in an English accent for the rest of the evening.

Rory:  No fun.  Hey, tomorrow night…

Dean:  Life of Brian? – 2.03

Yes…I’m a terrible blogger.  I could give a big long list of all the things that kept me from doing this including work, travel, time with friends, time with family, etc. but really, there’s no good excuse.  This dvd has been sitting on my dvd player for months and I just now got around to popping it in.

So, with how many times I’ve seen The Holy Grail, I’ve never seen Life of Brian.  I have absolutely no idea what it’s about.  I have an idea of what to expect based on what I know about Monty Python, but no clue what the story is.  So…we’ll see.

  1. I like how people in Judea in 33AD have British accents.
  2. I don’t know that any fist fights actually happened at the Sermon on the Mount.
  3. I don’t understand why the ex leper has to dance everywhere.
  4. Brian’s mom irritates me.
  5. Poor Stan.  He just wants to have a baby.
  6. I love grammar lessons.
  7. It’s starting to sound like they don’t really have any reason to hate the Romans…  Help with sanitation, public order, peace, etc.
  8. I want to come up with a really cool salute like they have when they put their fists on the side of their heads.  And then I’ll make everyone I know do it when they see me.
  9. This prisoner on the wall is quite the complainer.  I mean, he’s hung up and chained on the wall, but still.  Shut up at least for a little bit.
  10. I wish I could say things like “I want him fighting rabid animals by the end of the week!” when someone irritates me.
  11. Aliens?!  This movie has aliens?!  I hate aliens!
  12. Haggling is very complicated.
  13. That’s true.  Crucifixion does at least get you out in the open air.
  14. I don’t think Jesus’ parables were criticized this much.
  15. We hold one shoe up at the end of the 3 day (Donate please!)
  16. Damn, his mom’s back.  I hate that woman (well, man actually).
  17. Speech impediments are funny.
  18. I don’t know if crucifixion and party should be used in the same phrase.
  19. Nothing worse than a nagging mother at your crucifixion.
  20. I love a good musical number to end a movie.  I think that’s what was missing from The Passion of the Christ.

Not bad.  I didn’t find it as good as Holy Grail, but still good.

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Monty Python and the Holy Grail

February 15, 2011

Rory:  We can watch “Holy Grail” on tape again.

Dean:  Ok, but I am not talking in an English accent all night again. – 2.3

This is another movie that I happen to own.  I love this movie, it’s hysterical.  I actually once owned a bunny that looked like the bunny in the movie, and that was the first thing everyone said when they met him.  So, this should be fun.  Minus the sadness I’ll feel about missing my bunny.

  1. I love how these guys can even make credits funny.
  2. I wish someone would follow me around and bang coconuts together while I imagined riding a horse.  I don’t really like horses, so this would work perfectly.
  3. Who doesn’t love the “it’s just a flesh wound” scene?  Seriously, everybody loves that.
  4. I’m going to start saying “You make me sad.  So be it.”
  5. The “She turned me into a newt!  …I got better.” scene made me laugh out loud.  I rarely laugh out loud when I watch movies alone.  Good job, Monty Python.
  6. Well, obviously, if a woman weighs the same as a duck then she’s made of wood and is clearly a witch.  It’s science.
  7. Ah, I just heard where they got the name Spamalot from.  Interesting.
  8. Best line:  “Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
  9. The original flying cow.  Long before Twister totally stole the idea.
  10. One of my best friends from high school built a Trojan Rabbit like the one in the movie and arrived to prom in it.  He had a bunch of junior boys wheel it in and he and his date got out and went into he school.  My high school was awesome.  And so was my friend.
  11. Aw, poor chaste Sir Galahad.  All these women throwing themselves at him and asking to be spanked.
  12. Ni is not a word.
  13. The cartoons in this movie kind of disturb me.  But I’m also afraid of clay-mation, so I’m not surprised.
  14. Princess Lucky?  Sounds like a stripper name.  A bad stripper name, but a stripper name nonetheless.
  15. I would love to hear the prince sing.  Too bad his dad won’t let him.
  16. Why won’t any of these people die?
  17. Aw, this poor old man.  Just filming a documentary and getting slashed to death with a sword.
  18. Aw, bunny.  I miss my bunny.
  19. Intermission?!  But the movie’s been on for so long!
  20. I forgot that’s how it ended…And that’s it.

Good funny movie.  I’ve seen it way too many times.

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Barbarella

February 15, 2011

Dean:  There’s a 7:30 showing of Barbarella, and I thought you can bring your mom’s purse, you know the one with the monkey face, and we’ll sneak in some burgers… – 2.2

I’ve never seen this one and really don’t know much about it, except that Jane Fonda is in it and she likes to work out.

  1. This has to be the strangest opening to a movie.  A woman floating around in a space suit and slowly taking off pieces of the suit.
  2. So far, loving the music.  I mean “Barbarella, Psychadella”?  The lyrics alone are marvelous.
  3. Woah.  Naked Jane Fonda.  That was unexpected.
  4. Yeah, she’s still naked.  And apparently talking to the president of Earth.  Who sounds French.
  5. Her computer sings to her to wake her up?  I need one of those.
  6. You’d think being a space girl, she could at least get rid of the shag carpeting in her spaceship.  Although I’m thinking that’s there by choice.
  7. Dude, she only hit you with a snow ball and she’s just a little girl.  That probably shouldn’t knock you out.
  8. This movie makes me feel like I’m on drugs.
  9. Oh my gosh, those dolls are terrifying!  They’ve got zombie eyes and sharp teeth.  And now they’re biting Barbarella!  What is this movie?!
  10. His job is to catch children and send them to live in the forest?
  11. Sex was proven to be distracting?  And unnecessary because there are other ways to get self esteem?  This is the most ridiculous movie I’ve ever seen.
  12. Now, where did that silver leotard come from?  Last I saw she was in a fur suit because her clothes got ripped by the zombie dolls and the Catchman gave her some fur.
  13. This labyrinth is creepy…
  14. She slept with another guy?  Barbarella is kind of a slut.
  15. Oh, apparently she only slept with Pygar to give him his will to fly.  That’s ok then.
  16. Always trust the blind angel when he says he senses danger, Barbarella.
  17. The lake under the city watches them?  I’m not so cool with that.
  18. This movie kind of makes me feel like I’m watching space porn.
  19. Parakeets?  She’s being attacked by parakeets?  What kind of torture is that?
  20. This “Earth” way of having sex by taking a pill and touching your hands together makes me think of 17 Again when Ned tells the principal that their hands just made a baby.
  21. They’re smoking essence of man?  That seems crazy…
  22. Wait, that evil guy who put her in the cage with the parakeets is Duran Duran?
  23. Someone needs to teach Duran Duran how to evil laugh.  His sucks.
  24. I’m a little nervous about the queen freeing the evil lake.  That can’t be good.
  25. Angels don’t have memories?

I don’t really know that I have any words for this movie.  It’s…wow.

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Thelma And Louise

February 15, 2011

Paris:  I’m sorry if you thought we had some deep Thelma and Louise thing going here, but we didn’t. – 2.2

Ok, so all I know about Thelma and Louise is that there’s 2 chicks in it, Brad Pitt makes a cameo, and Angel references it in Rent.  Although I am glad I’m finally seeing it.  I feel like it’s something I should watch.  Here goes.

  1. Is it bad that I knew Geena Davis was in this movie but I didn’t know Susan Sarandon is in it?
  2. Really?  Asking your husband for permission to go out of town?  Seriously?
  3. Ew, that guy’s pick up line was that he had something in common with her “funny uncle”.  Gross.
  4. When a woman has been drinking and she says she doesn’t feel good, you don’t ask her what’s wrong.  You point her in the direction of a toilet.
  5. He slapped her and then said “I said I’m not going to hurt you.”  Contradiction…
  6. Oh my gosh!  She shot that guy!  Oh my gosh!
  7. Hold on.  No one’s going to believe he tried to rape her because she was dancing with him all night?  Seriously?  Right, ‘cause guys only rape the girls who show no interest in them.
  8. Mexico?  That’s the best place to go after committing a murder?  Who knew?
  9. It’s true, he is your husband, not your father.  Good job cussing him out.
  10. A young Brad Pitt talks to you, you stop to talk to him.  I don’t care how upset you are.
  11. Texas is ginormous, you can’t get to Mexico from Oklahoma without getting into Texas.  You can’t get anywhere without going through Texas, it takes over the world.  I couldn’t even fly to Oklahoma from Louisiana without stopping in Texas.
  12. Any woman would need a cold shower after spending the day with young Brad Pitt.
  13. His proposal was not even looking at her and handing her a box and saying “Here.”  Classy, Jimmy.
  14. “I may be an outlaw, darling, but you’re the one stealing my heart.”  That. Just. Happened.
  15. Oh Brad Pitt…you seduced her and then took all the money.  What a jerk.  A hot jerk, but a jerk nonetheless.
  16. Here’s a little tip, guys.  Women don’t like it when you do obscene things towards us when we’re driving next to you.  No seriously, none of us like it.
  17. Thelma needs to shut her mouth.
  18. Where do you go when they’ve figured out you’re going to Mexico?
  19. That scene where Thelma is holding that state cop up at gun point is really funny.
  20. I like that they’re both redheads.  Redheads are awesome.

Well, I’m glad I knew how this movie was going to end, otherwise this would have been very shocking to me.  All in all, it’s a decent movie.  I like that all the jerks in the movie pretty much get what’s coming to them.  I mean, death is pretty extreme, but it’s close to the right idea.  Good girl power movie.