Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

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AI: Artificial Intelligence

May 31, 2011

“Oh Max, Rory is very low maintenance.  Kind of like that robot kid in AI, only way less mother-obsessed.  Oh my God, that kid was so annoying.  I would have pushed him out of the car while it was still moving.”  – 2.3

I’ve seen this movie before, many years ago.  I remember it being good, but I also remember the ending making me feel really uncomfortable.  I may have had trouble sleeping afterwards.  I mean, both Stanley Kubrick and Steven Spielberg played big roles in this movie, and they’ve managed to scare the crap out of me for pretty much my entire life between ET and the Shining.  I also remember it being very long.  So, here goes.

  1. I can’t imagine strictly limiting pregnancies.  In that world would there be better sex education and more reasonably priced birth control?  Because that would be great.
  2. The doctor in the cryogenics lab was in an episode of How I Met Your Mother I just watched.  He was wearing a toupee at Marshall and Lily’s wedding.
  3. Why would you want a kid that never ages?  I feel like that would get annoying.
  4. Haley Joel Osment was a cute kid.  Unlike his stupid little sister on the Hannah Montana show.
  5. That’s a freaking awesome bed.  I want a bed that’s kind of like a space pod with a moon light behind it.
  6. Why would you leave a huge decision like imprinting on a robot child to have for the rest of your life to your very unstable wife who is mourning the loss of her own son?  Clearly she’s not the best person to do this.
  7. How come the dad doesn’t imprint on the kid?  I thought this movie was futuristic.  The woman is doing all the cooking and cleaning and is the only one who is parenting this robot kid.  Sounds like the stone age to me.
  8. Martin is Matt from Lizzie Maguire!  I miss Lizzie Maguire.
  9. Ewwww….spinach is bad for robots.Martin’s kind of evil.
  10. Ok, I know he looks real, but he’s still just a robot.  Just take him to the lab and have him destroyed.  He tried to kill your human son.
  11. You don’t really need to do much to Jude Law to make him look like this perfect, artificial man.  He kind of already looks that way.
  12.  Also, I really want to watch I Heart Huckabees now.
  13. Giant moon balloon…how cool is that?
  14. As a former nanny, it makes me sad that they used robots as nannies.
  15. No!  Teddy!
  16. Jon Hamm?  Nice cameo, Jon.
  17. Maybe building robots that can feel was a bad plan, guys.
  18. Mad Eye Moody?  Either I watch too much tv, or this movie is filled with a lot of random actors.
  19. Adrien Grenier?  Really?!
  20. This Dr. Know thing is like texting Google.
  21. I’m going to assume that robots were not created to lie.  So how can you frame one for murder?  There has to be some kind of secret camera or something in them to see for sure if they actually murdered someone.
  22. They tricked David.  Bastards.
  23. Here’s my question.  If you can create an artificial child, make it capable of love and dreaming…why can’t you reverse the imprinting on one?
  24. I feel like there wouldn’t be that much of a market for artificial children.  They’re kind of creepy.
  25. Now I remember why the ending creeped me out.  Stupid aliens.
While aliens and any talk about the world ending totally freaks me out, this is a really interesting movie.  And actually, the ending isn’t that creepy.  It’s actually kind of sweet.
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Not Without My Daughter

January 15, 2011

“It’s going to be just like that Sally Field movie where her husband took them to Iran and wouldn’t let them come back except I won’t have to keep my head covered.”  – 2.1

Hello Season 2 movies!
I don’t know anything about this movie except that Sally Field is in it and it‘s based on a true story…  So here goes!

Things to mention:

  1. No way!  It’s Doc Ock!
  2. If it’s bad enough that he’s swearing on the Koran that you won’t be in any danger in Iran…that’s probably a bad sign.
  3. Careful Sally, they are a little TOO excited about your visit…You may be staying longer than 2 weeks.
  4. Every uncovered hair is like a dagger to the heart of your mothers?  Maybe we’re being a little over dramatic, guys.
  5. Yeah, sorry, but if my husband talked to me like that, he’d be in big trouble.  And I wouldn’t be there much longer for him to talk to me like that.
  6. “Oops, sorry honey.  I forgot to tell you, this two week vacation is forever.”
  7. Oh hell no.  You do not tell your wife she has to live in Iran and then punch her.
  8. How can you fall in love with someone and marry them and have a child with them and then turn into such a dick?  Hit her, kidnap her, force her to live in a foreign country and not even talk to her about it?  I’m so mad at you, Doc Ock.
  9. That little girl is stinking adorable.  Especially their little prayer.  So cute.
  10. Hold up…If you marry an Iranian man, you automatically become an Iranian citizen?  That’s insane!  Seriously, read the fine print before getting married, ladies.
  11. “I never want to hurt you” is hard to say when you beat the crap out of her just a couple days earlier.
  12. I think Islam is really fascinating.  This movie is kind of making the whole religion look awful.  Sad for Islam.
  13. Oh my goodness, that little girl screaming and crying when they drop her off at school is so heartbreaking!
  14. Yeah, your wife having a busted lip and a black eye really makes you look like a great husband.
  15. Oh dear Lord, he hit that little girl.  If I could reach through the tv I would kick him in the balls.
  16. Geez, run a little faster Betty!
  17. Don’t you hug him, Betty!  He beat you, he kidnapped your daughter, he locked you alone in the house, and you hug him?!
  18. Why couldn’t she just live in that giant house of Houssein’s?  Until they can get back to America?
  19. Why is it so stinking hard to get out of Iran?
  20. I’m not really one of those “Proud to be an American” types, but I may have teared up when she saw the American flag at the end.

Ok, that was good.  Not my number one choice, but I definitely didn’t get bored with it.  It did make me hate Doc Ock though.  Good thing he died at the end of Spiderman.

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Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

November 24, 2010

“Hey, it’s not like the lumberjack look will ever go out; it won’t.  But just once, wouldn’t it be nice not to be dressed like an extra in ‘Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?'” – 1.20

I love musicals.  I’m excited about this one, even though I’m pretty sure it’s going to be one of those lame musicals that they make kids in high school do because it’s the most wholesome choice.  But it takes place in Oregon and I used to live there, so it’s all good.

  1. I really hope this is one of those movies where the male chauvinist lead meets a tough woman who shows him women can think for themselves…
  2. Oh look, a woman who chops wood and milks cows and jokes around with the men…just what I was looking for.
  3. You might want to tell your bride that she’s not only going to be taking care of you, but also your 6 brothers…it might change things.
  4. That’s a lot of red-headed men in one room.
  5. A man wants a wife who can work alongside him?  That’s what they want?  All this time…I never knew.
  6. So apparently all you have to do to make rowdy men behave is make them eat breakfast in the nude.  Good to know.
  7. Do NOT call a woman “my pet.”  Don’t listen to Millie, boys.  That will get you slapped.
  8. So…where’s Adam during all this?  Millie’s spending all her time with his brothers…That could be trouble.
  9. I think I would dance more if they were all choreographed like waltzes.  I can dance if someone tells me exactly how to.  Plus, back then, the girls didn’t have to do much.
  10. Aw, I want to win the little cow.
  11. Wow, those guys are really mean.  Throwing hammers, hitting them with 2 by 4’s…
  12. It’s one thing not to start fights, but if a guy threw a hammer in my face, I’d probably throw a punch or two.  Although I probably wouldn’t fight so much that I would destroy a barn.
  13. “One woman’s pretty much like the next.”  Wow.  Millie is seriously regretting marrying him.
  14. There’s gotta be more stuff to do in the wilderness than just chop wood.
  15. Is he telling them to kidnap women?
  16. Yep.  He’s telling them to kidnap women.
  17. Well, lock 7 women alone in a house for months…there’s gonna be a cat fight.
  18. I’m really glad I never had such high hopes for what happens after you get married.  That’s just a major letdown.
  19. Adam’s kind of a d-bag.  Being upset about her having a girl instead of a boy?  Wow.
  20. Have any of these people ever heard of Stockholm’s Syndrome?

Well, that was silly.  But I do love musicals.

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Old Yeller

July 14, 2010

“So, should we rent Old Yeller too, or is that just a guy’s crying movie?” – 1.17

I’m not really sure how I feel about this one.  I really like dogs, and I’m pretty sure this doesn’t turn out well for the dog.  I mean, Phoebe’s mom wouldn’t even let her watch the ending of this one.  We’ll see…

Some things to mention:

  1. This intro song is just a tiny bit insane.
  2. No way is that boy ok after getting dragged around by that mule.
  3. I love that he screams at the dog to leave and Old Yeller just kinda cocks his head at him.  Like, “What’s up, man?  I thought we were cool?”
  4. Ew.  I want to know how long that little boy had a frog, a lizard, and a snake in his pockets.  All day?
  5. 15 miles a day on the trail?  Whatever, I walk 20 miles a day for the 3day!
  6. It seems to me like that mule is the stupid one, not the dog.
  7. Good job, Arliss.  Your brother threw rocks at your dog, you have every right to throw rocks back at him.
  8. Tackling a baby bear is probably a bad idea…
  9. Stop harassing the cow, Yeller!  She just had a baby!
  10. How did they film the fight scenes between animals?
  11. Someone should tell Arliss you can’t ride a dog on its back like that.  It’s bad for their backs.
  12. They actually just used the expression “Woman-cooked meal.”  Really?
  13. Oh my god, that pig screaming is like the worst noise I’ve ever heard.
  14. A hog just bit the crap out of his leg, blood everywhere…and he RUNS away?  How does that work?
  15. How can you possibly be a jerk when someone brings you a puppy as cute as that one?
  16. Man, everything went to hell once Old Yeller moved in with them.  He should’ve kept away from them.  Hog bites, fights with cows, bear attacks, wolf attacks, rabies…  Seriously?
  17. This is why you get your animals rabies vaccines.  My cats never leave the house, and they still have their shots.
  18. Arliss, you dumb kid.  Your brother told you to stay away from the dog…
  19. I love how the dad just rides up like, “Hey guys, what’s been going on?”
  20. Really guys?  You’re ending the movie with a “Young Yeller” song?  Wow…

Well, I really thought this movie would affect me more.  But it wasn’t that big of a deal.  I mean, yeah, it’s sad that he had to kill his dog when he got rabies.  But it wasn’t terribly heart breaking.  Maybe it was just a boy crying movie.  This disc came with a sequel called Savage Sam.  I don’t really feel the need to watch that one.

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You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown

July 10, 2010

Christopher:  Suppertime

Richard:  Did you write that?  That was really very good.

Lorelai:  Dad, that’s from You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown.  It’s a famous musical. – 1.15

This one is really just an excuse to watch a musical.  I know when this was referenced, they meant the play (I’m not that dumb), but I saw the musical once and loved it (I’m a big musical nerd) and saw they had the cartoon version of it, so I jumped all over it.

Now some things to mention:

  1. I love that they didn’t use good singers for this.  These kids suck, it’s fantastic.
  2. I wonder if Schroeder knew how crazy Beethoven was.
  3. This is a musical for people with ADD.
  4. Well, obviously Snoopy is more popular than you, Charlie Brown.  He’s like the coolest dog in the world.
  5. Schroeder is such a moody musician.  You should get over him, Lucy.
  6. Woah, Snoopy.  Chill.
  7. Who knew Linus was so smart.  Homeboy carries a blanket around 24/7.
  8. Funny story…I was in the kitchen while the movie was on and Charlie Brown was writing to his pen pal and said “Dear Pen Pal”.  From the kitchen it sounded a lot like “Dear Penthouse”.  I had to stop and look to make sure that wasn’t what he said.
  9. Why didn’t anyone ever check out Charlie Brown for severe depression?
  10. Of course he loves the cute little redheaded girl.  Redheaded girls are AWESOME.
  11. It’s suppertime!
  12. Ok, this Happiness song is pretty annoying.

Well, that was cute.

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The Champ

July 7, 2010
One day, one day of pizza and pajamas. I’ll rent ‘Love Story’ and ‘The Champ’, ’An Affair to Remember’, ‘Ishtar’.” – 1.17
So we’re now beginning the movies that are good to watch while you’re wallowing after being dumped.  Started with Love Story and just keeps going.  However, I have no need to wallow.  Things are actually pretty good in my life.  But, I guess one could argue that every girl needs a good wallowing session.  I mean, there’s always something to cry about.
A good cry never hurt anyone.
Now some things to mention:
  1. Wow, Jon Voight looks VERY young.
  2. What’s cuter than Ricky Schroder?  Answer:  Nothing.
  3. Why isn’t anyone paying attention to that sweet little boy in the strip club?
  4. Oh he did not just steal money from Ricky Schroder’s piggy bank.  You are kidding me.
  5. Should we really be celebrating the fact that he won money gambling with the $20 he stole from his son?
  6. Is this whole movie about horses?  Because I don’t really like horses.
  7. How do you have a conversation with your son and not know who he is?  I mean, she hasn’t seen him since he was a baby, but he’s only 8.  He still looks like a baby.  You freaking gave birth to him, lady.
  8. Dude, seriously, stop gambling.
  9. If you stopped gambling you wouldn’t have lost your son’s horse and had to grovel at his mother’s feet for money.  STOP GAMBLING.
  10. That’s the fakest punching I’ve ever seen.
  11. I don’t really get how this is a wallowing movie.
  12. Stop yelling at Ricky!  How can you tell that sweet blonde, blue-eyed little boy that he’s a pain in the ass?!  Oh my god.  He slapped him.  I officially hate this movie.
  13. This kid seriously needs to be adopted by some functional adults.  These people suck with kids.
  14. How was she married to the champ and now she’s this rich hoity toity type?  I smell a prequel…
  15. Naturally, the smart thing to do after getting arrested for fighting is to start training to be a boxer again…
  16. Maybe ring side at his father’s boxing match isn’t the best place for an 8-year-old.
  17. I don’t think Ricky Schroeder has cried since he was in this movie for the sole reason that he has no tears left.
  18. HE DIED?!  WHAT THE HELL KIND OF MOVIE IS THIS?!
  19. Oh my god, this is heartbreaking.
  20. He doesn’t want Annie, he wants the Champ!

Talk about no character development…wow.  I wouldn’t recommend this one.  It’s all over the place and doesn’t really get interesting until the end and your reward for getting through that is a terribly depressing ending.  Sorry to anyone who likes it.  Maybe I’m on my own on this one but I could have lived without it.

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Bambi

June 26, 2010

“Nobody eats cute.  Except Bambi maybe, but he’s a cartoon.” – 1.16

I don’t have any conscious memories of watching this movie when I was younger.  But I know I did because I had a bunny named Thumper.  I don’t remember the thought process involved in naming Thumper, but I assume it was from this movie.  We’ll see if it’s like Lady and the Tramp where I remember it as I watch it.

Now some things to mention:

  1. I get it.  The animals are waking up.  Let’s get on with the movie, guys.
  2. That’s overwhelming.  Dude just finished being born and now there’s like a million animals expecting him to wake up and say hi.
  3. Every time they say Bambi I think of Grey’s Anatomy.  “I’m Bambi, George!  I’m all alone in the forest, all alone in the forest, George!”
  4. I’d say naming my bunny Thumper was the best decision I made at 6.  Given the chance, I’d do it again.  He was a freaking awesome rabbit.  Both in the movie and in real life.
  5. That skunk is a big old flirt.
  6. I really don’t remember this movie.  I know the mother gets shot though.  No surprises there.
  7. I’m sorry, but deer are not this smart.  They’ve run into cars.  They would not know to check the meadow before going out in it.
  8. I remember the eating blossoms part!  You know, when Thumper doesn’t want to eat his greens.  Probably because I don’t have a very balanced diet.
  9. I wish I could hibernate and sleep through winter.  I love sleep.
  10. The shooting scene’s not that bad.  Sad for Bambi, but no big deal.  Stupid hunters.
  11. I don’t like these deep voices on Bambi, Thumper and Flower.  Not as cute.
  12. Bros before hos, Flower.  Bros before hos.
  13. This is why Disney gives unrealistic romantic expectations.  You’re just walking around, and you smile at a guy and suddenly he’s so smitten by you that you’re together forever?  Yeah…ok.
  14. There’s not much of a plot to this movie, is there?
  15. Wow, dramatic ending.  Bambi gets shot, forest fires…crazy.

It’s cute.  Not quite as good as Lady and the Tramp, but not bad.  I’ll probably never go hunting.  Although I’ve lived in 2 places now where hunting was pretty commonplace.  I guess it’s not as sad though when the animals don’t talk to you.  Overall, nice relaxing viewing and it made me miss my Thumper.