Archive for the ‘Classics’ Category

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Them!

May 31, 2011

Lorelai:  But the life we had is going to morph into this like mutation that we could never possibly have conceived.

Rory:  Like the giant ants in ‘Them!’? – 2.03

As with most horror movies I’m asked to watch for this blog, I started this one early in the morning so I would have the whole day to recover from it before having to go to sleep tonight.  I also took my shower before watching it, because I have a feeling I might be scared to afterwards.  I know it’s only a 50’s horror movie, which normally isn’t scary…but it’s about bugs.  I don’t do bugs.

  1. Man, I can just picture cute little 50’s girls at the drive in with boys in their school sweaters getting all cozy in the front seat because they’re scared of this movie.
  2. Creepy stuff always happens in New Mexico.  And a little girl holding a doll?!  They’re just asking to creep people out.
  3. This would never happen now.  A town wouldn’t be wiped out by giant ants without the rest of the world knowing.  Someone would put it on Facebook.  Probably with pictures or video.
  4. They all seem awfully calm about shooting at this giant ant…
  5. My bible doesn’t have any prophecy about giant ants.  Ok, I’ll admit, I haven’t read the whole thing.  Maybe it does.
  6. I like how they’re teaching Dr. Medford to speak on a walkie talkie.  “Say over.”  “But I’ve just said it.”  “Say over and out if you’re finished.”  “But she knows I’m finished!”
  7. I’m pretty sure this movie’s not going to scare me.  The ants aren’t all that scary looking.  And no one else in the movie seems all that freaked out.  Except for that little girl.  She’s freaking out.
  8. I think in this situation, I would say “Screw women’s rights.”  You don’t want women in the giant ant nest?  Sounds good to me.
  9. Um, clearly an ant is coming through that hole, guys.  Maybe do something before it does.
  10. Ewwwwww….giant ant eggs.  Ten bucks says we get to see them hatch.
  11. There’s something scary about winged queen ants…
  12. Ants make slaves out of their prisoners?  Is that science, Dr. Medford?
  13. Oh Texans, they say the craziest things.  Flying saucers shaped like ants?  That’s just crazy.
  14. The alcoholic ward of the hospital seems fun.  “Make me a seargent!  Give me the booze!”
  15. Reservoir basins all look the same to me.  Like the location of the drag race at the end of Grease.
  16. Ok, the head of the air force just made an emergency announcement that the city is under attack by giant ants.  Why is no one reacting?
  17. I hope Peterson lives.  I like him.  He saves little kids.
  18. Don’t tell her that her kids are alive until you get them out and away from the ants!
  19. No Peterson!!!
  20. Damn that atomic bomb.
Well, we killed the giant ants.  But what other giant things are we going to find as a result of this new atomic bomb age?!  It’s insanity!
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Monty Python and the Holy Grail

February 15, 2011

Rory:  We can watch “Holy Grail” on tape again.

Dean:  Ok, but I am not talking in an English accent all night again. – 2.3

This is another movie that I happen to own.  I love this movie, it’s hysterical.  I actually once owned a bunny that looked like the bunny in the movie, and that was the first thing everyone said when they met him.  So, this should be fun.  Minus the sadness I’ll feel about missing my bunny.

  1. I love how these guys can even make credits funny.
  2. I wish someone would follow me around and bang coconuts together while I imagined riding a horse.  I don’t really like horses, so this would work perfectly.
  3. Who doesn’t love the “it’s just a flesh wound” scene?  Seriously, everybody loves that.
  4. I’m going to start saying “You make me sad.  So be it.”
  5. The “She turned me into a newt!  …I got better.” scene made me laugh out loud.  I rarely laugh out loud when I watch movies alone.  Good job, Monty Python.
  6. Well, obviously, if a woman weighs the same as a duck then she’s made of wood and is clearly a witch.  It’s science.
  7. Ah, I just heard where they got the name Spamalot from.  Interesting.
  8. Best line:  “Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
  9. The original flying cow.  Long before Twister totally stole the idea.
  10. One of my best friends from high school built a Trojan Rabbit like the one in the movie and arrived to prom in it.  He had a bunch of junior boys wheel it in and he and his date got out and went into he school.  My high school was awesome.  And so was my friend.
  11. Aw, poor chaste Sir Galahad.  All these women throwing themselves at him and asking to be spanked.
  12. Ni is not a word.
  13. The cartoons in this movie kind of disturb me.  But I’m also afraid of clay-mation, so I’m not surprised.
  14. Princess Lucky?  Sounds like a stripper name.  A bad stripper name, but a stripper name nonetheless.
  15. I would love to hear the prince sing.  Too bad his dad won’t let him.
  16. Why won’t any of these people die?
  17. Aw, this poor old man.  Just filming a documentary and getting slashed to death with a sword.
  18. Aw, bunny.  I miss my bunny.
  19. Intermission?!  But the movie’s been on for so long!
  20. I forgot that’s how it ended…And that’s it.

Good funny movie.  I’ve seen it way too many times.

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Funny Girl

January 22, 2011

Sookie:  You’re gonna be a Sadie!

Lorelai:  A what?

Sookie:  Sadie, Sadie, married lady!  Meet a mortgagee!

Lorelai:  Funny Girl!

Sookie:  Streisand! – 2.1

 

This is one of my absolute favorite movies of all time.  I love Barbara in it, I love the songs, I just love everything about it.  And it’s one of the few movies on this list that I actually own, which is nice.  If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.  It’s a perfect Friday night, order a pizza, wear your jammies kind of movie.  Which is exactly what I’m doing while watching it.

Now some things to mention:

  1. Any movie that has the first line “Hello, gorgeous,” is ok in my book.
  2. Barbara Streisand was really pretty in her day.
  3. I miss the days when the requirements to be a famous actor included having talent.  I mean, I don’t know that I was alive when that was the case, but I like the movies from that time.
  4. Usually when I meet an attractive man, I sing his name in my head…or not.
  5. Polish on his fingernails?  Gross.
  6. Fanny was right to make the bride number funny.  The lyrics are stupid.
  7. Do some guys get a booklet about things to say to give a girl butterflies?  I mean, some guys can’t do it, but some guys, it’s like they just know.  Nick Arnstein got the booklet.
  8. A man saying he doesn’t make definite plans because they make him feel tied down is a HUGE red flag.
  9. Yes, I would agree that “You are woman, I am man, let’s kiss” is a very direct approach.
  10. Oh that purple dress.  I have dreams about Barbara’s gorgeous wardrobe in this movie.
  11. Yes, I’m a feminist and I don’t think any woman should throw her career away for a man, but I do love Don’t Rain On My Parade.
  12. I don’t know that I would want to marry a man who would only propose if he won a poker game.  Sorry Nick.
  13. I kinda wish Fanny had married the piano player.
  14. I love the Swan Lake number.  I don’t know that there’s many actresses out there now who would make themselves look as silly as Barbara does.
  15. Geez, Nick.  Get a real job.  Stop gambling and expecting to survive off of it.
  16. Is it so horrible for a man to be supported by a woman?  I mean, she’s a successful actress, is that so wrong?
  17. This is why husbands should talk to their wives.  So they don’t do stupid stuff and go to jail.
  18. You should’ve married the piano player…he never went to jail.
  19. Quit the theatre?  He went to jail, he doesn’t get to tell you to quit the theatre.
  20. Good job, Barbara.

Ordinarily, women who are so crazy, stupid in love with their husbands make me nuts.  Not the being in love part, but the “can’t possibly survive without him” part.  And, yeah, Fanny’s desperation to marry Nick and her blind devotion to him does kind of make me nuts.  But in her character, I just see it as immaturity, not lack of independence.  He’s her first love and she’s crazy about him.  She doesn’t want to believe anything bad about him.  But I think she does wise up and realize that while she loves him, she can get by without him if necessary.  She’s amazing in her career and she supports him while knowing she can support herself.  And, the ending pretty much redeems her in my eyes as a strong, independent woman.

 

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Fame

January 21, 2011

Sookie:  Michel’s going to live forever.

Lorelai:  Like on Fame?

Sookie:  That’s what I said! – 2.1

This is one of those movies I wish I’d seen but that I never got around too.  I like watching talented people.  Especially dancers, because I can’t dance.  Also, Alan Parker also directed Midnight Express.  Which grossed me out, but was still a good movie.

Now for some things to mention:

  1. Ha ha, that girl just said “Does that hurt, or is that ethnic?” about a girl’s nose ring.  I love it.
  2. Doris Finsecker was in Grease 2.  I just became very interested in this movie.
  3. I don’t know if I could handle all these adolescent drama kids.  It’s like the worst of both worlds.
  4. I wonder how many kids applied to this school after this movie came out…
  5. I love how they think Leroy is so great, but really, he’s just dancing like a stripper.
  6. She just called his boom box a “ghetto blaster”.    I don’t think that would fly today.
  7. My high school was pretty cool.  I mean, John Mayer played at my prom.  But we never had a musical number about our lunch lady during lunch.  That’s pretty awesome.
  8. I wish I hadn’t quit piano.  I played for 8 years and I don’t remember anything.  That’s such a waste.
  9. That’s quite a freak out just because your teacher asked you to read.
  10. I think it’s ridiculous that I’ve sung enough Latin in my life that I understand the words when people sing in Latin.
  11. I like what Martelli says about how if Mozart was around he wouldn’t be doing music the way he did then.  He’d use the electronic stuff to make more different sounds.
  12. The whole dancing to Fame in the streets scene kind of came out of nowhere…
  13. “Never being happy isn’t the same as being unhappy.”  I like that.
  14. I just realized who the teacher is!  She’s Steve Brady’s mother from Sex and The City!  I love it!
  15. I wish I spoke Spanish so I knew what happened to that poor little girl that Ralph lives with.
  16. She got beaten up by a junkie?!  She’s 5 years old!
  17. I would love to go to a screening of Rocky Horror like that.
  18. Poor Montgomery…all by himself.
  19. Oh Coco, do not trust the dirty guy in the coffee shop asking you to do a screen test.
  20. Kind of an anticlimactic ending…

It was good and interesting, but seriously?  What happened to all the kids?  Did Ralph and Doris ever make up?  What happened with Coco and that pervy guy?  Did the rich white ballerina get the abortion?  Did Leroy ever learn to read?  Did Mrs. Sherwood’s husband die?  These are important questions that will keep me up at night.  Ok, probably not.

 

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Out Of Africa

October 27, 2010

Okay, last week we were talking about Meryl Streep and the whole accent thing and Rachel said that she loved “Out of Africa” but she’d never read the book, remember?” -1.20

I don’t really have high hopes about this one.  I just don’t think it’s going to be very good and nothing about it interests me.  So…we’ll see.

Now some things to mention:

  1. Meryl Streep, I love you, but the Danish accent is boring and lame.
  2. Punishment for not being married?  Really?
  3. I don’t really plan on having a wedding, but if I do, there should totally be bagpipes there.  Maybe I could get Ross Gellar to play Celebration.
  4. I love that giant dog she has.  Though with my luck with the movies I’ve been watching, the dog will probably die.
  5. That’s what happens when you get married, Karen, you can’t be with the attractive men.
  6. I like what she says about how when men are tested, they are tested for courage and when women are tested they are tested for patience.
  7. Aw, the little boys waiting for the cuckoo clock to go off is cute.
  8. Hell no, no one’s telling me to move into town for my own protection.  I can protect myself, thank you very much.
  9. Stop hitting the cows, they’re going as fast as they can!
  10. WHAT?!  She got syphilis?!  What?!  No one’s immune, friends.  Wear condoms.  And get tested every 6 months if changing partners, every year if monogamous.  Just a little public service announcement from me to you.
  11. She didn’t get to take her dog with her back to Denmark?  Lame.
  12. Ladies, when a man gives you syphilis, please do not go back to him.  Thanks.
  13. Meryl Streep looks like a living Victorian painting in this movie.
  14. I feel like your husband moving out is a perfect reason to accept a gift from Robert Redford.
  15. Hairwashing is weird…
  16. “So let’s lie down and get on with it,”  Great pick up line.
  17. Holy crap, they just shot a couple of lions.  That was like a video game.
  18. Poor Barkley.
  19. Really?  The baron comes back for money?
  20. I think that my version of love is very close with Robert Redford’s.  You shouldn’t NEED someone.

Ok, so I may have stopped paying attention while watching this and started making a mix for an upcoming roadtrip.  Sue me.  It’s a crazy long movie.

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Queen of Outer Space

August 28, 2010

Lorelai and Rory see this movie in town. – 1.19

I’m psyched for this one.  It looks like a great ‘50’s flick.  I mean, Zsa Zsa Gabor is in it.  What could be better?  Besides an alien queen trying to wipe out all of earth’s men?
  1. I would like to think I’m better than this…but there’s something sexy about astronauts.
  2. This is the longest spaceship take off scene EVER.
  3. Yep…Still taking off.
  4. That alien space ray kinda looks like Casper the Friendly Ghost is flying by.
  5. These graphics are fantastic.
  6. I love it!  The title sequence just came on.
  7. I predict that they’ve been transported to the Land of the Lost.
  8. Venus?!  Really?  Venus has the same atmosphere and gravity as earth?  That’s a stretch, my astronaut friends.
  9. I’m glad women on Venus speak English.  Otherwise this would be very confusing.
  10. Oh man, a woman driver joke.  While you’re being held captive by a planet of woman.  That’s smart.
  11. Wow Zsa Zsa.  I still can’t understand you, but you were gorgeous in your day.
  12. That’s it.  Flirt with the evil alien queen.  That’ll fix everything.  The earth hangs in the balance and all we have to save us is the Captain’s sex appeal.
  13. I’m pretty sure Queen Yllana didn’t wipe out all the men on her planet because she could be easily manipulated by an attractive man flirting with her.
  14. Ew.  It’s like when the phantom of the opera took off his mask.  Gross.
  15. They’re being hunted and potentially killed once they’re found.  And they’re all starting new relationships with Venus women.  Classy, boys.  Classy.
  16. Ew!  Giant spider…
  17. Poor professor.  No Venus ladies love him.
  18. She actually just said “Women can’t be happy without men.”
  19. Rookie mistake.  When you’ve caught the bad guy, don’t give them a chance to explain.  Just kill them.
  20. The best part of that ending is that the professor turned out to be the playboy of Venus.
I recommend this movie.  It’s funny and very ‘50’s.  I really liked it.
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Gaslight

August 23, 2010

“I have to change and go to tea with Gran and the cast of Gaslight.” – 1.18

I know, I’m awful.  I haven’t posted in forever.  But I’m a busy girl.  I’ve had friends visiting, and now I have a temporary roommate, and those are all lame excuses for the fact that I just haven’t felt like it.  Sorry.

I don’t know anything about Gaslight, but they do quote it a few times in the show.  And Ingrid Bergman is sensational, so I’m not worried.

Things to mention:

  1. That is not how my voice lessons went.  She kind of asked me what I wanted to sing, and then we sang it.  Voice lessons were awesome.
  2. Well, obviously being in love makes women silly and not care about anything else but the man they’re in love with…
  3. Sigh, the 40’s had such great style.
  4. Um, I’d be afraid to marry a guy I hardly know.  And he’s kinda slimy looking.
  5. Bloodthirsty Bessie.  That’s a cute nickname.  Here, have a cookie…Crazy lady.
  6. I’m 99.99999% sure this slimy guy is the one who killed her aunt.
  7. I love how feminine and delicate it was for women to feel ill.  Now it’s just pushing through it and going to work sick.
  8. Woah.  Angela Lansbury is in this?!  And Jedidiah from Citizen Kane?!  Awesome!
  9. Dude, don’t mess with a girl’s sanity.  All you end up with is a crazy chick.
  10. Jedidiah guy is a babe.  Although I have no idea what his name is in this movie.  But he died in ’94 at the ripe old age of 89.  So I guess it doesn’t matter.
  11. Stop hitting on the maid in front of your wife, creep.
  12. “Oh, hey, thanks for letting me leave the house for once in my life.  I guess I’ll make out with you now as a thank you.”  The feminist in me is dying a little bit.
  13. Angela Lansbury’s a ho-bag!
  14. I want Jedidiah to rescue her from her crazy husband.
  15. Holy gorgeous dress, Ingrid Berman!
  16. Jedidiah, what are you waiting for?!
  17. Well, obviously your husband is a d-bag and is messing with your head.  You didn’t really need Jedidiah to point that one out for you.
  18. How long has this guy been searching the attic?
  19. Save the day, Jedidiah!  Ok, I’m pretty sure his name is Brian in this…Save the day, Brian!
  20. Yes!  Turn it around on him, Paula!  Do it!  The man made you think you were crazy!  He deserves way worse than being tied to a chair.

That was very good.  A little nuts, but good.  And I’m glad Bloodthirsy Bessie got the last word.  She stole the show.