Archive for the ‘70s’ Category

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Billy Jack

May 26, 2011

“You can’t see a Billy Jack movie too many times.”  – 2.3

The only stuff I know about this movie is what they show in Gilmore Girls.  Otherwise, I’m out.

  1. Nice theme music.  I love the 70s.
  2. It seems silly to try to catch horses while you’re riding on horses.
  3. We’re only 5 minutes in and I’m thoroughly convinced that Billy Jack is the most badass guy in the world.
  4. Hepatitis, a sore tooth, and pregnant?  You hit the jackpot, little lady.
  5. I want to be Billy Jack’s apprentice.  I want to be an apprentice to a badass.
  6. Totally shot down, Bernard.  Maybe it’s because your name is Bernard.
  7. How can you be suspicious of pacifists?  You pour flour on people who aren’t white to make them white and then get suspicious of their intentions?
  8. Holy crap, Billy Jack!  You just beat the hell out of those kids!
  9. Dude, you were doing so well with your bare feet.  How did they get the best of you?
  10. Next time the police come in to your school to search for something, just pick up a guitar and sing really loudly.  Words of wisdom, kids.
  11. It’s Johnny Fever!  Oh, WKRP in Cincinnati.
  12. That’s the most exciting City Council meeting I’ve ever seen.
  13. Hold on, Billy gets bitten by a snake over and over again in order to have a vision?  …Crazy…
  14. Poor Martin.  He’s got a broken leg, he’s just going to buy some paint, and the cop hits him in the stomach with a pipe.
  15. Street theatre is funny.
  16. Pulling a knife on a girl and forcing her to take her clothes off?  Oh, you’re such a man.
  17. I would drive my car into the lake too over having a dislocated elbow.
  18. What the hell is wrong with this Bernard kid?  Kidnap and rape?  Seriously?
  19. That pacifist chick is badass, shooting a gun at the bad guys.
  20. They killed Martin?!  What the hell!
  21. Billy Jack just killed a guy with a karate chop.  Freaking awesome.
  22. This seems like an awful lot of trouble for one runaway.
  23. Aw, Jean loves Billy Jack.
  24. She gets shot in the leg and his response is “You crazy nut.”
  25. This is not the Billy Jack movie that they watched on Gilmore Girls…  I hope you all with let that slide.

A little more violent than I tend to like.  But it was interesting.  I wish I had a Billy Jack in my life to kick some ass when necessary.

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Fame

January 21, 2011

Sookie:  Michel’s going to live forever.

Lorelai:  Like on Fame?

Sookie:  That’s what I said! – 2.1

This is one of those movies I wish I’d seen but that I never got around too.  I like watching talented people.  Especially dancers, because I can’t dance.  Also, Alan Parker also directed Midnight Express.  Which grossed me out, but was still a good movie.

Now for some things to mention:

  1. Ha ha, that girl just said “Does that hurt, or is that ethnic?” about a girl’s nose ring.  I love it.
  2. Doris Finsecker was in Grease 2.  I just became very interested in this movie.
  3. I don’t know if I could handle all these adolescent drama kids.  It’s like the worst of both worlds.
  4. I wonder how many kids applied to this school after this movie came out…
  5. I love how they think Leroy is so great, but really, he’s just dancing like a stripper.
  6. She just called his boom box a “ghetto blaster”.    I don’t think that would fly today.
  7. My high school was pretty cool.  I mean, John Mayer played at my prom.  But we never had a musical number about our lunch lady during lunch.  That’s pretty awesome.
  8. I wish I hadn’t quit piano.  I played for 8 years and I don’t remember anything.  That’s such a waste.
  9. That’s quite a freak out just because your teacher asked you to read.
  10. I think it’s ridiculous that I’ve sung enough Latin in my life that I understand the words when people sing in Latin.
  11. I like what Martelli says about how if Mozart was around he wouldn’t be doing music the way he did then.  He’d use the electronic stuff to make more different sounds.
  12. The whole dancing to Fame in the streets scene kind of came out of nowhere…
  13. “Never being happy isn’t the same as being unhappy.”  I like that.
  14. I just realized who the teacher is!  She’s Steve Brady’s mother from Sex and The City!  I love it!
  15. I wish I spoke Spanish so I knew what happened to that poor little girl that Ralph lives with.
  16. She got beaten up by a junkie?!  She’s 5 years old!
  17. I would love to go to a screening of Rocky Horror like that.
  18. Poor Montgomery…all by himself.
  19. Oh Coco, do not trust the dirty guy in the coffee shop asking you to do a screen test.
  20. Kind of an anticlimactic ending…

It was good and interesting, but seriously?  What happened to all the kids?  Did Ralph and Doris ever make up?  What happened with Coco and that pervy guy?  Did the rich white ballerina get the abortion?  Did Leroy ever learn to read?  Did Mrs. Sherwood’s husband die?  These are important questions that will keep me up at night.  Ok, probably not.

 

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Amityville Horror

December 12, 2010

“No, that house is not safe!  It’s like the Amityville Horror without all the good times!” – 1.20

Ok, I’m not going to lie.  I’m really scared to watch this.  One time in college there was a psych experiment that I was a participant of and they made us watch the newest version without the sound.  Which was terrifying.  I’m going with my theory that older movies aren’t as scary as the new ones.  I’m also holding on to the fact that I took a class in college called Paranormal Phenomena where my professor told us that the whole Amityville story was made up.  2 people moved into this house and made up the whole story with their lawyer.  Once they made all the money off of books and movies, they came out with the truth that they had made it all up.  Well, the murders happened, but the whole haunting thing is crap.  Just hold on to that…

  1. James Brolin just makes me think of Phoebe saying she was pregnant with James Brolin’s baby.
  2. I was just watching Superman this morning.  It’s like a Margot Kidder kind of day.
  3. Ok, I get it, people being shot is really bad.  However, if you’ve gotta go…wouldn’t you rather get shot in the middle of the night while you’re sleeping?  I mean, you’re not scared, you don’t see it coming, you just die in your sleep.  Not a bad way to go, in my opinion.  And I’m aware I’ll probably go to hell for that statement.
  4. Oh that priest is so going to die.  It’s always the priest.  No one should ever be a priest.
  5. Ew.  I hate flies.  This is so gross.  If you get attacked by flies and then a creepy disembodied voice tells you to get out, you get the hell out.  Although, you should probably tell the family that just moved into the house.
  6. I know the newer one is probably ten million times scarier, but Ryan Reynolds is just so much hotter than James Brolin.
  7. I don’t believe in ghosts, but I think I’d still have trouble sleeping in a house where 5 people died.
  8. Seriously, what does this house have against holy people?  I mean, they’re just trying to hang out and the house keeps making them throw up or crash cars.
  9. Damn, the babysitter always gets it.  That’s why I don’t babysit anymore.
  10. Imaginary friends are never a good sign.  My kids will NOT have imaginary friends.  People die when kids have imaginary friends.
  11. A priest just said “bureaucratical bullshit”.  Priests yelling at each other is awesome.
  12. Man, the only thing that made me jump in this movie was the window coming down on that little boy’s hand.  Well, so far.
  13. Ok, seriously, what’s with the flies?
  14. Really George?   You just stole a book from the library…You know they let you have those for free, right?
  15. Oh these people are so going to die.  George told them to stay outside and now she’s in the basement digging up dead bodies.
  16. Oh this is going to be so bad…you can’t dig up a place where people were buried and not have it be a bad thing.  The passage to hell, that sounds really bad.
  17. Wait a minute, you open up the passage to hell and just leave it open and stay in the house?!  What the hell is wrong with these people?!  You can’t just walk around with a crucifix and expect it to fix everything!  Get out of the house!
  18. What is happening to her face?  Why does she have all those blisters?  Oh my god, get out of the house, crazy people!
  19. This is getting kind of ridiculous.  Why are these people still living in this house?
  20. This is a long freaking movie.
  21. Why are they still leaving that poor dog down there with the passage to hell?  And where are the kids?
  22. Why is he going after Amy?  I feel like I missed something…
  23. If I’ve learned anything from Supernatural, it’s that ectoplasm means there’s a really pissed off spirit.
  24. You know what, it took you this long to figure out that you had to get out of the house, you kind of deserve to die.
  25. Aw, they saved the dog.

Ok, this movie was scary, but not terrifying.  Either this movie watching process has made me a little better about scary movies, or this one just wasn’t that scary.  And it saved itself from all the other movies I’ve watched where dogs die, because they went back and saved the dog.  Not too shabby, Amityville, not too shabby.

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Grease

July 22, 2010

Madeline:  Looks like we’re going to have to do a Pink Ladies makeover on you.

Louise:  We’ll turn you from a sweet Sandy to a slutty Sandy. – 1.18

So, today I’m home sick from work.  What better way to celebrate a sick day than to watch a classic like Grease?  What is there to say about Grease…not much.  So, here goes.

  1. My sister showed me this movie the first time I watched it, and she told me the beginning was really boring, but important to the movie.  She probably doesn’t remember that, but I do.  And to this day, I still think I could live without watching John Travolta and Olivia Newton John run around on a beach to Love Is A Many Splendored Thing.
  2. I wonder if Grease fans were concerned about this movie coming out like I was when Rent came out.
  3. How old were these kids when they made this movie?  They look like they’re 30.
  4. “If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.”  That line brought me a lot of comfort in my teens.
  5. I’m thinking of introducing myself like Patty Simcox.  “We’ll have so much fun and be life long friends!”  Thoughts?
  6. You know when songs get too familiar and you don’t even listen to the words because it’s just habit?  That’s Summer Lovin’.
  7. Hopelessly Devoted To You might be one of my least favorite songs.
  8. I love that John Travolta did this, and also played an overweight mother in Hairspray.  He’s so versatile.
  9. I love how the first rule for high school gym is cut smoking down to 2 packs a day.
  10. I was so proud of myself when I was a kid and realized that the girls in Beauty School Drop Out were Rizzo and the other Pink Ladies.  Seriously.  Really proud.
  11. I don’t know what’s wrong with Frenchie.  I would love for a boy to tell me I look like a “beautiful, blonde pineapple.”
  12. Rule one is only boy/girl couples?  Not very progressive, Grease.
  13. Cha Cha’s not a good dancer, she can just throw her skirt around a lot.  It’s like hairography but with her dress.
  14. Apparently you can walk out on a drive-in, Danny.  Yes, you can.
  15. We had a carnival day in high school.  It didn’t look like this.
  16. Well, I guess all you need to do to be happy with someone is to change yourself into a slutty Sandy.
  17. How did they get all those rides for their high school?
  18. Aw, sorry guys, but you don’t stay friends forever with the high school gang.
  19. Ask my friend Neil about that Tilt-A-Whirl.  Last time I went on one was with him and I got like THIS close to throwing up on him.  I didn’t.  But he’ll never let me live it down.
  20. Did anyone ever notice that Alvin and the Chipmunks make a musical cameo at the end?

That was a good blast from the past.  I think everyone should watch Grease again.  I bet it’s been years for most of you.

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The Champ

July 7, 2010
One day, one day of pizza and pajamas. I’ll rent ‘Love Story’ and ‘The Champ’, ’An Affair to Remember’, ‘Ishtar’.” – 1.17
So we’re now beginning the movies that are good to watch while you’re wallowing after being dumped.  Started with Love Story and just keeps going.  However, I have no need to wallow.  Things are actually pretty good in my life.  But, I guess one could argue that every girl needs a good wallowing session.  I mean, there’s always something to cry about.
A good cry never hurt anyone.
Now some things to mention:
  1. Wow, Jon Voight looks VERY young.
  2. What’s cuter than Ricky Schroder?  Answer:  Nothing.
  3. Why isn’t anyone paying attention to that sweet little boy in the strip club?
  4. Oh he did not just steal money from Ricky Schroder’s piggy bank.  You are kidding me.
  5. Should we really be celebrating the fact that he won money gambling with the $20 he stole from his son?
  6. Is this whole movie about horses?  Because I don’t really like horses.
  7. How do you have a conversation with your son and not know who he is?  I mean, she hasn’t seen him since he was a baby, but he’s only 8.  He still looks like a baby.  You freaking gave birth to him, lady.
  8. Dude, seriously, stop gambling.
  9. If you stopped gambling you wouldn’t have lost your son’s horse and had to grovel at his mother’s feet for money.  STOP GAMBLING.
  10. That’s the fakest punching I’ve ever seen.
  11. I don’t really get how this is a wallowing movie.
  12. Stop yelling at Ricky!  How can you tell that sweet blonde, blue-eyed little boy that he’s a pain in the ass?!  Oh my god.  He slapped him.  I officially hate this movie.
  13. This kid seriously needs to be adopted by some functional adults.  These people suck with kids.
  14. How was she married to the champ and now she’s this rich hoity toity type?  I smell a prequel…
  15. Naturally, the smart thing to do after getting arrested for fighting is to start training to be a boxer again…
  16. Maybe ring side at his father’s boxing match isn’t the best place for an 8-year-old.
  17. I don’t think Ricky Schroeder has cried since he was in this movie for the sole reason that he has no tears left.
  18. HE DIED?!  WHAT THE HELL KIND OF MOVIE IS THIS?!
  19. Oh my god, this is heartbreaking.
  20. He doesn’t want Annie, he wants the Champ!

Talk about no character development…wow.  I wouldn’t recommend this one.  It’s all over the place and doesn’t really get interesting until the end and your reward for getting through that is a terribly depressing ending.  Sorry to anyone who likes it.  Maybe I’m on my own on this one but I could have lived without it.

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Love Story

July 2, 2010

One day, one day of pizza and pajamas. I’ll rent ‘Love Story’ and ‘The Champ’, ’An Affair to Remember’, ‘Ishtar’.” – 1.17

All I know about Love Story is what I saw in Now and Then.  Teeny sits on the roof of her house watching it on the drive in movie screen and says “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”  Seriously, that’s all I know.  I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of tragedy in it.  I tried watching the trailer on the dvd, but that just showed pictures of the couple, no story clues.  So…we’ll see how it goes!

Now some things to mention:

  1. Oh ok, she dies.  They just come right out with it in the beginning…  Well, it’s better than being surprised.
  2. Lesson learned:  If you’re totally obnoxious and rude to a guy, he’ll take you out for coffee and invite you to a hockey game.
  3. Wow, that’s the fastest beginning to a relationship I’ve ever seen.
  4. This whole “poor little rich boy” thing is getting old.
  5. How can they possibly be in love?  They don’t even know each other!
  6. This would be a HORRIBLE movie to watch after your first real break up.  What was Lorelai thinking?
  7. Is she seriously not going to Paris because some preppy, pretty rich boy wants to marry her?  This is so not the movie for a logical cynic like me.  Go after your dreams, Jenny!  You’re obviously going to die young!
  8. Sorry buddy, but a fight with your dad doesn’t mean you’re not related.  Not that simple.
  9. I love Phil’s reaction to the Do It Yourself Wedding.  “Amen.”
  10. Seriously, Jenny and Oliver are pretentious.  Young, immature, pretentious fools in love.
  11. Wow, it must have been really frustrating to try to find someone back before there were cell phones.
  12. I don’t buy the “love means never having to say you’re sorry” thing.  I don’t care how much I love you, when you screw up and are mean to me, you better freaking say you’re sorry.
  13. This movie just got some points because they did “Lo How A Rose Ere Blooming” which is my favorite Christmas carol.
  14. Holy crap, those are some teeny tiny shorts, boys.  Is that really necessary to play racquetball?
  15. What is she dying of?  You can’t just tell a guy his wife is dying without telling him why she is dying.
  16. How long are we going to not tell the wife she’s dying?  And how long are we going to not tell the audience what she’s dying of?
  17. Who goes to an ice rink to sit and watch their husband skate?  Lame…
  18. She’s even pretentious on her deathbed.
  19. I hope I look totally normal and healthy when I’m about to die.
  20. That was kind of anti climactic.
I apologize to anyone who really loves this movie and gets a lot out of it.  But I thought it was pretty lame.  First of all, their relationship was built on staying together even when it meant they both were losing out on incredible experiences.  Yes, love is a great thing.  However, why couldn’t Oliver have just waited until he was out of law school to marry her?  She could have gone to Paris on her scholarship and his dad wouldn’t have cut him off and they could have bypassed all those years of living paycheck to paycheck in a crappy apartment.  They could have stayed together while he was in law school without getting married and both would’ve been able to take advantage of their good opportunities.  I mean, she was going to die at 25 anyway, but at least she would have gone to Paris and he wouldn’t have cut all ties with his father.
Wow, I have never had this much to argue about at the end of a movie.  I promise I’m not some pessimistic anti-romantic, I’m just anti-foolish love for the sake of being foolish.  They still could have been in love and everything but be logical about it.  You can be logical and in love.
But that’s just my opinion.
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King Kong (1976)

May 3, 2010

Rory, Dean, Lane, and Todd watch this on their double date. – 1.12

Let me start off by saying, I was not all that excited about watching this.  I LOVE the newest version of King Kong because of my major crush on Adrien Brody, and also my love for Colin Hanks.  I was concerned about this living up to my standards for King Kong.  However, I’m willing to give it a shot.  But seriously…Adrien Brody just makes movies better.

Now some things to mention:

  1. Who goes to that much trouble to sneak on a boat?
  2. When the movie was made in the 2000’s, they made the time period be in the 30’s.  In my opinion, if you live in the 70’s, you should make your movie’s time period be anything but the 70’s.  The outfits alone…
  3. Jeff Bridges reminds me of Lane’s husband Zach.  At least in this role.
  4. Dwan?  What kind of name is that?
  5. You don’t run ahead of people by yourself on an island no one has ever been on.  Stupid Dwan.
  6. 6 native girls for Dwan?  Sounds like a fair trade to me!  I bet their names aren’t as stupid.
  7. All the fog…it kind of reminds me of Louisiana in the morning.  Wonder if it feels as humid there.
  8. Oh, and as if we didn’t need another reason to hate Dwan…she’s into zodiac signs and horoscopes.  Naomi Watts was way better.
  9. Wow…those natives are so quiet.  Like freaking ninjas.
  10. I think this movie would be 10 times better if instead of King Kong showing up…it was Donkey Kong.  I would totally watch that movie.  Where’s a good screen writer when you need one?
  11. I don’t really get what the big deal is.  It’s not like some new animal.  It’s just a really big monkey.
  12. Jack Black was way more entertaining than this oil loser.
  13. Ew.  I don’t want some giant monkey blowing on me to dry me off.
  14. I’m starting to think that awful scene with the giant bugs in the new King Kong, came from this movie.  I foresee a giant bug scene…
  15. Sweet, no giant bugs.  Just dudes falling to their death.
  16. Holy crap, that’s a giant snake.  Thank God my sister isn’t watching this.
  17. Hey, he killed the snake in the same way he killed the T Rex in the new one.  By opening his mouth until it snapped.  Gross then…gross now.
  18. Really?  No one died while trying to capture him?  Lame.
  19. I really wish Jessica Lange would stop fainting whenever something happens.  She’s giving women a bad name.
  20. I kind of love Jack Prescott.  He can do a hell of a lot better than stupid Dwan.

So, it wasn’t terrible.  It also didn’t feel nearly as long as the new version.  Or as gross.  And Jeff Bridges was a nice stand in for Adrien Brody.  But Jessica Lange was a moron.  And Kong wasn’t scary at all.  I could see it being a good date movie for a couple of 16 year olds, but certainly not an excellent movie.