Archive for February, 2011

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Monty Python and the Holy Grail

February 15, 2011

Rory:  We can watch “Holy Grail” on tape again.

Dean:  Ok, but I am not talking in an English accent all night again. – 2.3

This is another movie that I happen to own.  I love this movie, it’s hysterical.  I actually once owned a bunny that looked like the bunny in the movie, and that was the first thing everyone said when they met him.  So, this should be fun.  Minus the sadness I’ll feel about missing my bunny.

  1. I love how these guys can even make credits funny.
  2. I wish someone would follow me around and bang coconuts together while I imagined riding a horse.  I don’t really like horses, so this would work perfectly.
  3. Who doesn’t love the “it’s just a flesh wound” scene?  Seriously, everybody loves that.
  4. I’m going to start saying “You make me sad.  So be it.”
  5. The “She turned me into a newt!  …I got better.” scene made me laugh out loud.  I rarely laugh out loud when I watch movies alone.  Good job, Monty Python.
  6. Well, obviously, if a woman weighs the same as a duck then she’s made of wood and is clearly a witch.  It’s science.
  7. Ah, I just heard where they got the name Spamalot from.  Interesting.
  8. Best line:  “Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
  9. The original flying cow.  Long before Twister totally stole the idea.
  10. One of my best friends from high school built a Trojan Rabbit like the one in the movie and arrived to prom in it.  He had a bunch of junior boys wheel it in and he and his date got out and went into he school.  My high school was awesome.  And so was my friend.
  11. Aw, poor chaste Sir Galahad.  All these women throwing themselves at him and asking to be spanked.
  12. Ni is not a word.
  13. The cartoons in this movie kind of disturb me.  But I’m also afraid of clay-mation, so I’m not surprised.
  14. Princess Lucky?  Sounds like a stripper name.  A bad stripper name, but a stripper name nonetheless.
  15. I would love to hear the prince sing.  Too bad his dad won’t let him.
  16. Why won’t any of these people die?
  17. Aw, this poor old man.  Just filming a documentary and getting slashed to death with a sword.
  18. Aw, bunny.  I miss my bunny.
  19. Intermission?!  But the movie’s been on for so long!
  20. I forgot that’s how it ended…And that’s it.

Good funny movie.  I’ve seen it way too many times.

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Barbarella

February 15, 2011

Dean:  There’s a 7:30 showing of Barbarella, and I thought you can bring your mom’s purse, you know the one with the monkey face, and we’ll sneak in some burgers… – 2.2

I’ve never seen this one and really don’t know much about it, except that Jane Fonda is in it and she likes to work out.

  1. This has to be the strangest opening to a movie.  A woman floating around in a space suit and slowly taking off pieces of the suit.
  2. So far, loving the music.  I mean “Barbarella, Psychadella”?  The lyrics alone are marvelous.
  3. Woah.  Naked Jane Fonda.  That was unexpected.
  4. Yeah, she’s still naked.  And apparently talking to the president of Earth.  Who sounds French.
  5. Her computer sings to her to wake her up?  I need one of those.
  6. You’d think being a space girl, she could at least get rid of the shag carpeting in her spaceship.  Although I’m thinking that’s there by choice.
  7. Dude, she only hit you with a snow ball and she’s just a little girl.  That probably shouldn’t knock you out.
  8. This movie makes me feel like I’m on drugs.
  9. Oh my gosh, those dolls are terrifying!  They’ve got zombie eyes and sharp teeth.  And now they’re biting Barbarella!  What is this movie?!
  10. His job is to catch children and send them to live in the forest?
  11. Sex was proven to be distracting?  And unnecessary because there are other ways to get self esteem?  This is the most ridiculous movie I’ve ever seen.
  12. Now, where did that silver leotard come from?  Last I saw she was in a fur suit because her clothes got ripped by the zombie dolls and the Catchman gave her some fur.
  13. This labyrinth is creepy…
  14. She slept with another guy?  Barbarella is kind of a slut.
  15. Oh, apparently she only slept with Pygar to give him his will to fly.  That’s ok then.
  16. Always trust the blind angel when he says he senses danger, Barbarella.
  17. The lake under the city watches them?  I’m not so cool with that.
  18. This movie kind of makes me feel like I’m watching space porn.
  19. Parakeets?  She’s being attacked by parakeets?  What kind of torture is that?
  20. This “Earth” way of having sex by taking a pill and touching your hands together makes me think of 17 Again when Ned tells the principal that their hands just made a baby.
  21. They’re smoking essence of man?  That seems crazy…
  22. Wait, that evil guy who put her in the cage with the parakeets is Duran Duran?
  23. Someone needs to teach Duran Duran how to evil laugh.  His sucks.
  24. I’m a little nervous about the queen freeing the evil lake.  That can’t be good.
  25. Angels don’t have memories?

I don’t really know that I have any words for this movie.  It’s…wow.

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Thelma And Louise

February 15, 2011

Paris:  I’m sorry if you thought we had some deep Thelma and Louise thing going here, but we didn’t. – 2.2

Ok, so all I know about Thelma and Louise is that there’s 2 chicks in it, Brad Pitt makes a cameo, and Angel references it in Rent.  Although I am glad I’m finally seeing it.  I feel like it’s something I should watch.  Here goes.

  1. Is it bad that I knew Geena Davis was in this movie but I didn’t know Susan Sarandon is in it?
  2. Really?  Asking your husband for permission to go out of town?  Seriously?
  3. Ew, that guy’s pick up line was that he had something in common with her “funny uncle”.  Gross.
  4. When a woman has been drinking and she says she doesn’t feel good, you don’t ask her what’s wrong.  You point her in the direction of a toilet.
  5. He slapped her and then said “I said I’m not going to hurt you.”  Contradiction…
  6. Oh my gosh!  She shot that guy!  Oh my gosh!
  7. Hold on.  No one’s going to believe he tried to rape her because she was dancing with him all night?  Seriously?  Right, ‘cause guys only rape the girls who show no interest in them.
  8. Mexico?  That’s the best place to go after committing a murder?  Who knew?
  9. It’s true, he is your husband, not your father.  Good job cussing him out.
  10. A young Brad Pitt talks to you, you stop to talk to him.  I don’t care how upset you are.
  11. Texas is ginormous, you can’t get to Mexico from Oklahoma without getting into Texas.  You can’t get anywhere without going through Texas, it takes over the world.  I couldn’t even fly to Oklahoma from Louisiana without stopping in Texas.
  12. Any woman would need a cold shower after spending the day with young Brad Pitt.
  13. His proposal was not even looking at her and handing her a box and saying “Here.”  Classy, Jimmy.
  14. “I may be an outlaw, darling, but you’re the one stealing my heart.”  That. Just. Happened.
  15. Oh Brad Pitt…you seduced her and then took all the money.  What a jerk.  A hot jerk, but a jerk nonetheless.
  16. Here’s a little tip, guys.  Women don’t like it when you do obscene things towards us when we’re driving next to you.  No seriously, none of us like it.
  17. Thelma needs to shut her mouth.
  18. Where do you go when they’ve figured out you’re going to Mexico?
  19. That scene where Thelma is holding that state cop up at gun point is really funny.
  20. I like that they’re both redheads.  Redheads are awesome.

Well, I’m glad I knew how this movie was going to end, otherwise this would have been very shocking to me.  All in all, it’s a decent movie.  I like that all the jerks in the movie pretty much get what’s coming to them.  I mean, death is pretty extreme, but it’s close to the right idea.  Good girl power movie.