Archive for December, 2010

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Amityville Horror

December 12, 2010

“No, that house is not safe!  It’s like the Amityville Horror without all the good times!” – 1.20

Ok, I’m not going to lie.  I’m really scared to watch this.  One time in college there was a psych experiment that I was a participant of and they made us watch the newest version without the sound.  Which was terrifying.  I’m going with my theory that older movies aren’t as scary as the new ones.  I’m also holding on to the fact that I took a class in college called Paranormal Phenomena where my professor told us that the whole Amityville story was made up.  2 people moved into this house and made up the whole story with their lawyer.  Once they made all the money off of books and movies, they came out with the truth that they had made it all up.  Well, the murders happened, but the whole haunting thing is crap.  Just hold on to that…

  1. James Brolin just makes me think of Phoebe saying she was pregnant with James Brolin’s baby.
  2. I was just watching Superman this morning.  It’s like a Margot Kidder kind of day.
  3. Ok, I get it, people being shot is really bad.  However, if you’ve gotta go…wouldn’t you rather get shot in the middle of the night while you’re sleeping?  I mean, you’re not scared, you don’t see it coming, you just die in your sleep.  Not a bad way to go, in my opinion.  And I’m aware I’ll probably go to hell for that statement.
  4. Oh that priest is so going to die.  It’s always the priest.  No one should ever be a priest.
  5. Ew.  I hate flies.  This is so gross.  If you get attacked by flies and then a creepy disembodied voice tells you to get out, you get the hell out.  Although, you should probably tell the family that just moved into the house.
  6. I know the newer one is probably ten million times scarier, but Ryan Reynolds is just so much hotter than James Brolin.
  7. I don’t believe in ghosts, but I think I’d still have trouble sleeping in a house where 5 people died.
  8. Seriously, what does this house have against holy people?  I mean, they’re just trying to hang out and the house keeps making them throw up or crash cars.
  9. Damn, the babysitter always gets it.  That’s why I don’t babysit anymore.
  10. Imaginary friends are never a good sign.  My kids will NOT have imaginary friends.  People die when kids have imaginary friends.
  11. A priest just said “bureaucratical bullshit”.  Priests yelling at each other is awesome.
  12. Man, the only thing that made me jump in this movie was the window coming down on that little boy’s hand.  Well, so far.
  13. Ok, seriously, what’s with the flies?
  14. Really George?   You just stole a book from the library…You know they let you have those for free, right?
  15. Oh these people are so going to die.  George told them to stay outside and now she’s in the basement digging up dead bodies.
  16. Oh this is going to be so bad…you can’t dig up a place where people were buried and not have it be a bad thing.  The passage to hell, that sounds really bad.
  17. Wait a minute, you open up the passage to hell and just leave it open and stay in the house?!  What the hell is wrong with these people?!  You can’t just walk around with a crucifix and expect it to fix everything!  Get out of the house!
  18. What is happening to her face?  Why does she have all those blisters?  Oh my god, get out of the house, crazy people!
  19. This is getting kind of ridiculous.  Why are these people still living in this house?
  20. This is a long freaking movie.
  21. Why are they still leaving that poor dog down there with the passage to hell?  And where are the kids?
  22. Why is he going after Amy?  I feel like I missed something…
  23. If I’ve learned anything from Supernatural, it’s that ectoplasm means there’s a really pissed off spirit.
  24. You know what, it took you this long to figure out that you had to get out of the house, you kind of deserve to die.
  25. Aw, they saved the dog.

Ok, this movie was scary, but not terrifying.  Either this movie watching process has made me a little better about scary movies, or this one just wasn’t that scary.  And it saved itself from all the other movies I’ve watched where dogs die, because they went back and saved the dog.  Not too shabby, Amityville, not too shabby.

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