Archive for April, 2010

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Carrie

April 26, 2010

They’ve basically just moved off the plan to dump the pig’s blood on me at the prom, that’s all.” – 1.13

Yeah, you guessed it.  I’m totally scared to watch this movie.  However, I did survive a car accident this week with my sister and brother-in-law, so I’m pretty sure I’m invincible.

  1. What high school girl actually cares that much about a gym class volleyball game?  Heck, I was worse than Carrie in gym class volleyball, but no one cursed me out for it.
  2. I don’t really need to watch a girl shower in slow motion, but thanks for the offer.
  3. Carrie’s mom played one pf the people George had to reap in Dead Like Me.  So, I’m just going to think of that when I see her.  Instead of being totally scared of her.
  4. Hold on…does her mom think she only got her period because she had sex?
  5. Oh hey, John Travolta, what’s up?
  6. There’s a lot of face-slapping in this movie.
  7. I don’t really understand why they’re so pissed off at Carrie.  The gym teacher is the one who made them have detention.  Actually, they made themselves have detention for throwing tampons and pads at a naked girl.
  8. Maybe this makes me naive, but I really want to believe that Sue told her boyfriend to ask Carrie to prom to be nice…but I also kind of doubt it.  But maybe…
  9. John Travolta actually just said “Get ‘er done.”
  10. The boys in the tuxedo shop is probably my favorite scene ever.
  11. Oh the prom…I’ve been dreading this part.  It’s going to be scary…
  12. Carrie has really pretty hair.  Makes me a little sad that I just chopped all of mine off.
  13. Oh I really hope that boy actually wanted to kiss her and it’s not part of some big plan.
  14. Really?  Baseball Cap Girl wore her baseball cap to prom?
  15. Aw, everyone was clapping for her to win prom queen.  She could’ve even won on her own.  I hate that stupid Chris girl.
  16. Wow…intense prom scene.  But I’ve gotta be honest, not as scary as I thought it would be.  More tragic than anything else.
  17. The music in this movie is pretty freaking terrifying.
  18. Sissy Spacek had to get naked a whole lot for this movie.
  19. Holy crap.  That’s a lot of freaking knives to shove into your mother.
  20. Hey, creepy Jesus survived.  Awesome.
  21. COME ON!  THE MOVIE WAS OVER!  WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THAT STUPID ENDING TO SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF ME?!

So, since I thought the movie was over, I was just about to write about how it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be, how it was just sad that Carrie was so abused by people and she didn’t really have a choice but to be a monster…and then that freaking last scene with the hand coming out of the ground happened.  And now I want to say it’s the scariest thing ever.  I’m jittery and sweating and for the first time since I’ve lived alone, I wish there was someone else here.  Ok, maybe that’s a little dramatic for one 30 second scene, but COME ON!  And, there was some warning, but not enough to be able to avoid it.  I mean, they pulled that in an episode of Supernatural, but there was definitely a lot of warning when they did it.  I really thought it was over!

So…I’m glad the movie is actually over now.  And I already popped in a How I Met Your Mother dvd so hopefully by the time I have to function again without being completely terrified, I’ll be able to.  I kinda have to pee, but I’m afraid to go in my dark, empty bathroom.  That’s what happens when I watch scary movies.  My bladder gets punished.


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The Great Santini

April 15, 2010

“I know Mrs. Kim and Robert Duvall in the Great Santini share a striking resemblance, but she is Lane’s mom.” – 1.12

Well, these are a bit out of order.  I started to write my post for King Kong, however, the DVD was skipping, so I had to take a break and send it back to Netflix…so now it’s going to be The Great Santini.

I don’t know anything about this movie, so we’ll see how it goes.  Robert Duvall won Best Actor for it, so it can’t be all bad.  I’m just not a huge fan of war/military movies.

Now some things to mention:

  1. Gross…who fakes throwing up on an orchestra?
  2. I love that Blythe Danner says she’s going to give him a big juicy instead of a kiss.
  3. I know he explained it, but I still don’t understand why he dunked that guy’s head in the toilet.
  4. Why are marine people so crazy?  Stop attacking your friends when they don’t expect it!
  5. …He just called his son a little homo.  That actually happened.
  6. Who meets their new maid and gets into a punching contest with her?  The Great Santini, that’s who.
  7. The Great Santini reminds me of Dr. Cox on Scrubs.
  8. Wow, this is the most intense game of basketball I’ve ever seen.
  9. I think I’ve seen so many movies now that it would take a really fantastic movie for me to actually stay interested.  Every movie I’ve watched lately has bored me about halfway through.
  10. What does Robert Duvall have against sleeping?
  11. Ben, that is not the right way to start drinking.  You are going to vomit a lot.
  12. I really hate Mary Ann.  She’s incredibly annoying.
  13. Why is no one stopping Robert Duvall from screaming at his son on the side of the court?  Aren’t there refs in high school basketball?
  14. I wanna punch that guy who’s making fun of Toomer.  How do you make fun of a sweet guy with a stutter who’s just trying to make an honest living?  He just called him the n-word!
  15. Oh no, that boy is not going to shoot a dog…
  16. Stupid Red.  Freaking killed one of his dogs, and then him.  You know those other dogs are going after you now.
  17. I just realized why the maid seems familiar.  She’s the maid in Billy Madison.
  18. I’m kind of in love with Ben.
  19. Why does Robert Duvall call his kids hogs?
  20. That was a surprising ending…

All in all, not awful, but it does take a while to get into it.

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Beethoven

April 10, 2010

Lane:  Ok, what about movies?  You have to have a favorite movie.

Todd:  Yes, I do!

Lane:  Great, what is it?

Todd:  Beethoven!

Lane:  Beethoven.  The one with the dog? – 1.12

Well, the good life can’t last forever.  I’m now back on my tiny red couch in my apartment with 2 cats running around me.  But I missed it while on my business trip.  And, it seems the captions aren’t on for this movie, so it’s even better than what I’m used to.
I was not totally looking forward to watching Beethoven.  It came out 18 years ago, and that’s probably the last time I saw it.  But, I do love dogs, so I can at least enjoy all the dogs in it.  And, I won’t lie, when they showed puppy Beethoven, I may have said out loud “Oh…hello puppy!”  Yeah, I’m that girl.
Now some things to mention:
  1. I just can’t be scared by a villain that says “I need puppies.”
  2. I always wanted a St. Bernard.  I always thought that as a single girl living alone, it would be nice to have a big ol’ giant scary dog.  Turns out, dogs take a lot of time and attention, that I just don’t have.  So, I got a big ol’ Garfield cat.
  3. Oh my goodness, I just want a puppy to hold!
  4. I forgot Mark from Step By Step was in this!
  5. Ha ha, the oldest girl wanted to name him M.C. Hammer.  I love it.
  6. David Duchovny?  What are you doing in this movie?
  7. I feel like the 90’s are the awkward, transitional, middle school year of fashion.  But I was awkward, in transition, and in middle school in the 90’s, so that’s probably why.
  8. Who uses dogs to test the effectiveness of ammunition?  Can’t you use a dummy?
  9. I wish dogs could really judge between good people and people, but the reality is that if you scratch their ears and let them sniff you, they could be murderers and the dog wouldn’t care.
  10. OLD SCHOOL NINTENDO!!!  Man this movie brings back memories.
  11. Poor Beethoven, it sucks to get framed.
  12. Talk about scarring your kids for life by taking their dog away without telling them.
  13. This movie is heartbreaking.
  14. Maybe when I have a house to live in, and maybe a husband to help watch him, I could get a St. Bernard.  I just want one so bad.
  15. It just wouldn’t be a good movie without someone getting bit in the crotch.

So, it’s not exactly award-winning.  There’s like 10 million plot lines, and a lot of unbelievable story points…but all in all, it’s cute, and as cheesy as they are, I do have a soft spot for dog movies.  And it was nice to watch a mindless kid movie.

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The Odd Couple

April 7, 2010

Lorelai:  Hey, this is the pizza from Mystery Tuesday, this one is completely fine!

Rory:  Don’t.

Lorelai:  It’s in the box!

Rory:  Oscar!

Lorelai:  Felix! – 1.11

I’d like to preface this post by giving you a visual of my viewing of this movie.  I’m currently on a business trip, so instead of watching this on my tv that’s stuck on captions on my tiny loveseat with 2 cats curled up beside me…I am right in the very  middle of my king sized bed (paid for by my employer), watching it on my computer while typing the post with the free wireless I have here.  So, I’m not sure if all this luxury will be reflected in my reaction to the movie, but it’s possible.  So prepare yourself.

I will admit, I’ve never seen the Odd Couple.  I’ve probably caught a few pieces of the tv show on Nick and Nite from time to time (Does Nick at Nite still exist?) but never the movie.  But my brother-in-law says it’s funny and I trust him.

Now some thing to mention:

  1. I love how exotic dancers in old movies are average sized.  Makes me happy and not want to develop an eating disorder.
  2. I’m glad I cleaned my apartment before I left.  Otherwise, I would see a lot of similarities with Oscar’s apartment.
  3. Walter Matthau was always pretty funny looking, but Jack Lemmon was attractive back in the day.  Aging did not do much for him.
  4. These poker game guys are freaking hysterical.
  5. I’m laughing more at this movie than most of the comedies out today.
  6. I would much rather live with Oscar than Felix.  It’s easy for me to succumb to the sloppiness.
  7. I think that one guy with the glasses is the voice of Piglet…
  8. I wonder if the reason Felix drives me nuts is because I’m more like Oscar.  I wonder if neat freaks find Oscar’s character incredibly annoying.
  9. This double date is so awkward, I feel like I’m on it.
  10. Best line of the movie:  “It’s 12 floors, not 11!”

This movie was funny.  I highly recommend it.

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Mask

April 7, 2010

“You’re nervous?  You don’t have some guy staring at you like he’s Cher and you’re that kid from Mask!” – 1.12

Went in blindly on this one.  I was a little nervous about Cher trying to act, but willing to give it a shot.  And opening with a Springsteen song is a good start.

Now some things to mention:

  1. Nice reaction to your date’s son: “Jesus!  Who’s that?!”
  2. I hope they explain why Rocky and Rusty hang out with a bunch of bikers.
  3. Oh my goodness, cutest puppy ever.
  4. Good job with all the drugs, Cher.
  5. Well, the movie wouldn’t be complete without a musical number by Cher.
  6. Great parenting, hiring a prostitute for your 14 year old son.
  7. I wonder what happens if you have that disease but you don’t have a great personality like Rocky?  What if you’re just born as a really shy kid?  Or does having that kind of disease kind of create that sort of personality where you have to be a little brave about talking to people?  Another question for another day…
  8. Estelle Getty just saved this movie.  Who doesn’t love Sophia?
  9. I feel like a lot of the movies I’ve watched for this blog have had a blind character.
  10. Damn straight, Rocky.  You shove that kid into that locker.  If I were him, I would’ve done that a long time ago.
  11. Who knew this movie would have such a sweet love story?
  12. Oh man, I hate how obvious they are about how this is going to end…Time to start crying.

Well, the middle of this movie did kind of bore me, but I was invested enough to be really sad at the end.  But I won’t lie, the beginning and middle were kinda lame.  But it was a really interesting story.  And true.

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The Heathers

April 2, 2010

“Wow, you’re the new Heather.” – 1.11

This is one I’ve seen before, but it obviously didn’t make much of an impression on me because I really don’t remember much about it.  So, I was ok with watching it again.
It’s an interesting movie.  VERY 80s.  It has some really fantastically amazing one-liners.  You know, like “F*** me gently with a chainsaw.”
Plus, who doesn’t love seeing a young Christian Slater?  Even if he is a little crazy.
Now for some things to mention:

  1. 10 extra points for this movie for opening with a girl putting her hair in a GIANT scrunchie.

  2. I love seeing Shannon Doherty playing the quiet, nice girl.

  3. The music on the show Popular sounds a lot like the music in this movie.  I wonder if that was on purpose.

  4. I forgot how crazy this movie was.  Kid pulls a gun out at lunch like it’s no big deal.

  5. Nice Baton Rouge reference.

  6. Oh those crazy over-sexed high school kids.

  7. This is like an 80’s version of Jawbreaker.

  8. No one would ever pass around a teenager’s suicide note in a high school class.

  9. What girl would honestly believe there were bullets that just make you unconscious when you get shot by them?

  10. I think I know why I didn’t remember this movie since the last time I watched it.  It’s kinda hard to believe that the things that are happening in it, are actually happening.

  11. Yeah, JD definitely needed that elbow in the crotch.

  12. Winona Ryder still looks like my friend Katherine.  And I still miss her.

  13. Veronica, no boy is worth this.

  14. Talk about being the poster boy for blowing up the school…headphones in, trench coat on, all in black…

  15. That’s a lot of blood for one freaking finger getting shot off.

The real hero of the story?  Martha Dumptruck.