Life Of Brian

Rory:  We can watch Holy Grail on tape again.

Dean:  Okay, but I am not talking in an English accent for the rest of the evening.

Rory:  No fun.  Hey, tomorrow night…

Dean:  Life of Brian? – 2.03

Yes…I’m a terrible blogger.  I could give a big long list of all the things that kept me from doing this including work, travel, time with friends, time with family, etc. but really, there’s no good excuse.  This dvd has been sitting on my dvd player for months and I just now got around to popping it in.

So, with how many times I’ve seen The Holy Grail, I’ve never seen Life of Brian.  I have absolutely no idea what it’s about.  I have an idea of what to expect based on what I know about Monty Python, but no clue what the story is.  So…we’ll see.

1. I like how people in Judea in 33AD have British accents.
2. I don’t know that any fist fights actually happened at the Sermon on the Mount.
3. I don’t understand why the ex leper has to dance everywhere.
4. Brian’s mom irritates me.
5. Poor Stan.  He just wants to have a baby.
6. I love grammar lessons.
7. It’s starting to sound like they don’t really have any reason to hate the Romans…  Help with sanitation, public order, peace, etc.
8. I want to come up with a really cool salute like they have when they put their fists on the side of their heads.  And then I’ll make everyone I know do it when they see me.
9. This prisoner on the wall is quite the complainer.  I mean, he’s hung up and chained on the wall, but still.  Shut up at least for a little bit.
10. I wish I could say things like “I want him fighting rabid animals by the end of the week!” when someone irritates me.
11. Aliens?!  This movie has aliens?!  I hate aliens!
12. Haggling is very complicated.
13. That’s true.  Crucifixion does at least get you out in the open air.
14. I don’t think Jesus’ parables were criticized this much.
15. We hold one shoe up at the end of the 3 day (Donate please!)
16. Damn, his mom’s back.  I hate that woman (well, man actually).
17. Speech impediments are funny.
18. I don’t know if crucifixion and party should be used in the same phrase.
19. Nothing worse than a nagging mother at your crucifixion.
20. I love a good musical number to end a movie.  I think that’s what was missing from The Passion of the Christ.

Not bad.  I didn’t find it as good as Holy Grail, but still good.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Rory:  We can watch “Holy Grail” on tape again.

Dean:  Ok, but I am not talking in an English accent all night again. – 2.3

This is another movie that I happen to own.  I love this movie, it’s hysterical.  I actually once owned a bunny that looked like the bunny in the movie, and that was the first thing everyone said when they met him.  So, this should be fun.  Minus the sadness I’ll feel about missing my bunny.

1. I love how these guys can even make credits funny.
2. I wish someone would follow me around and bang coconuts together while I imagined riding a horse.  I don’t really like horses, so this would work perfectly.
3. Who doesn’t love the “it’s just a flesh wound” scene?  Seriously, everybody loves that.
4. I’m going to start saying “You make me sad.  So be it.”
5. The “She turned me into a newt!  …I got better.” scene made me laugh out loud.  I rarely laugh out loud when I watch movies alone.  Good job, Monty Python.
6. Well, obviously, if a woman weighs the same as a duck then she’s made of wood and is clearly a witch.  It’s science.
7. Ah, I just heard where they got the name Spamalot from.  Interesting.
8. Best line:  “Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
9. The original flying cow.  Long before Twister totally stole the idea.
10. One of my best friends from high school built a Trojan Rabbit like the one in the movie and arrived to prom in it.  He had a bunch of junior boys wheel it in and he and his date got out and went into he school.  My high school was awesome.  And so was my friend.
11. Aw, poor chaste Sir Galahad.  All these women throwing themselves at him and asking to be spanked.
12. Ni is not a word.
13. The cartoons in this movie kind of disturb me.  But I’m also afraid of clay-mation, so I’m not surprised.
14. Princess Lucky?  Sounds like a stripper name.  A bad stripper name, but a stripper name nonetheless.
15. I would love to hear the prince sing.  Too bad his dad won’t let him.
16. Why won’t any of these people die?
17. Aw, this poor old man.  Just filming a documentary and getting slashed to death with a sword.
18. Aw, bunny.  I miss my bunny.
19. Intermission?!  But the movie’s been on for so long!
20. I forgot that’s how it ended…And that’s it.

Good funny movie.  I’ve seen it way too many times.

Barbarella

Dean:  There’s a 7:30 showing of Barbarella, and I thought you can bring your mom’s purse, you know the one with the monkey face, and we’ll sneak in some burgers… – 2.2

I’ve never seen this one and really don’t know much about it, except that Jane Fonda is in it and she likes to work out.

1. This has to be the strangest opening to a movie.  A woman floating around in a space suit and slowly taking off pieces of the suit.
2. So far, loving the music.  I mean “Barbarella, Psychadella”?  The lyrics alone are marvelous.
3. Woah.  Naked Jane Fonda.  That was unexpected.
4. Yeah, she’s still naked.  And apparently talking to the president of Earth.  Who sounds French.
5. Her computer sings to her to wake her up?  I need one of those.
6. You’d think being a space girl, she could at least get rid of the shag carpeting in her spaceship.  Although I’m thinking that’s there by choice.
7. Dude, she only hit you with a snow ball and she’s just a little girl.  That probably shouldn’t knock you out.
8. This movie makes me feel like I’m on drugs.
9. Oh my gosh, those dolls are terrifying!  They’ve got zombie eyes and sharp teeth.  And now they’re biting Barbarella!  What is this movie?!
10. His job is to catch children and send them to live in the forest?
11. Sex was proven to be distracting?  And unnecessary because there are other ways to get self esteem?  This is the most ridiculous movie I’ve ever seen.
12. Now, where did that silver leotard come from?  Last I saw she was in a fur suit because her clothes got ripped by the zombie dolls and the Catchman gave her some fur.
13. This labyrinth is creepy…
14. She slept with another guy?  Barbarella is kind of a slut.
15. Oh, apparently she only slept with Pygar to give him his will to fly.  That’s ok then.
16. Always trust the blind angel when he says he senses danger, Barbarella.
17. The lake under the city watches them?  I’m not so cool with that.
18. This movie kind of makes me feel like I’m watching space porn.
19. Parakeets?  She’s being attacked by parakeets?  What kind of torture is that?
20. This “Earth” way of having sex by taking a pill and touching your hands together makes me think of 17 Again when Ned tells the principal that their hands just made a baby.
21. They’re smoking essence of man?  That seems crazy…
22. Wait, that evil guy who put her in the cage with the parakeets is Duran Duran?
23. Someone needs to teach Duran Duran how to evil laugh.  His sucks.
24. I’m a little nervous about the queen freeing the evil lake.  That can’t be good.
25. Angels don’t have memories?

I don’t really know that I have any words for this movie.  It’s…wow.

Funny Girl

Sookie:  You’re gonna be a Sadie!

Lorelai:  A what?

Sookie:  Sadie, Sadie, married lady!  Meet a mortgagee!

Lorelai:  Funny Girl!

Sookie:  Streisand! – 2.1

 

This is one of my absolute favorite movies of all time.  I love Barbara in it, I love the songs, I just love everything about it.  And it’s one of the few movies on this list that I actually own, which is nice.  If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.  It’s a perfect Friday night, order a pizza, wear your jammies kind of movie.  Which is exactly what I’m doing while watching it.

Now some things to mention:

1. Any movie that has the first line “Hello, gorgeous,” is ok in my book.
2. Barbara Streisand was really pretty in her day.
3. I miss the days when the requirements to be a famous actor included having talent.  I mean, I don’t know that I was alive when that was the case, but I like the movies from that time.
4. Usually when I meet an attractive man, I sing his name in my head…or not.
5. Polish on his fingernails?  Gross.
6. Fanny was right to make the bride number funny.  The lyrics are stupid.
7. Do some guys get a booklet about things to say to give a girl butterflies?  I mean, some guys can’t do it, but some guys, it’s like they just know.  Nick Arnstein got the booklet.
8. A man saying he doesn’t make definite plans because they make him feel tied down is a HUGE red flag.
9. Yes, I would agree that “You are woman, I am man, let’s kiss” is a very direct approach.
10. Oh that purple dress.  I have dreams about Barbara’s gorgeous wardrobe in this movie.
11. Yes, I’m a feminist and I don’t think any woman should throw her career away for a man, but I do love Don’t Rain On My Parade.
12. I don’t know that I would want to marry a man who would only propose if he won a poker game.  Sorry Nick.
13. I kinda wish Fanny had married the piano player.
14. I love the Swan Lake number.  I don’t know that there’s many actresses out there now who would make themselves look as silly as Barbara does.
15. Geez, Nick.  Get a real job.  Stop gambling and expecting to survive off of it.
16. Is it so horrible for a man to be supported by a woman?  I mean, she’s a successful actress, is that so wrong?
17. This is why husbands should talk to their wives.  So they don’t do stupid stuff and go to jail.
18. You should’ve married the piano player…he never went to jail.
19. Quit the theatre?  He went to jail, he doesn’t get to tell you to quit the theatre.
20. Good job, Barbara.

Ordinarily, women who are so crazy, stupid in love with their husbands make me nuts.  Not the being in love part, but the “can’t possibly survive without him” part.  And, yeah, Fanny’s desperation to marry Nick and her blind devotion to him does kind of make me nuts.  But in her character, I just see it as immaturity, not lack of independence.  He’s her first love and she’s crazy about him.  She doesn’t want to believe anything bad about him.  But I think she does wise up and realize that while she loves him, she can get by without him if necessary.  She’s amazing in her career and she supports him while knowing she can support herself.  And, the ending pretty much redeems her in my eyes as a strong, independent woman.

 

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

“Hey, it’s not like the lumberjack look will ever go out; it won’t.  But just once, wouldn’t it be nice not to be dressed like an extra in ‘Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?’” – 1.20

I love musicals.  I’m excited about this one, even though I’m pretty sure it’s going to be one of those lame musicals that they make kids in high school do because it’s the most wholesome choice.  But it takes place in Oregon and I used to live there, so it’s all good.

1. I really hope this is one of those movies where the male chauvinist lead meets a tough woman who shows him women can think for themselves…
2. Oh look, a woman who chops wood and milks cows and jokes around with the men…just what I was looking for.
3. You might want to tell your bride that she’s not only going to be taking care of you, but also your 6 brothers…it might change things.
4. That’s a lot of red-headed men in one room.
5. A man wants a wife who can work alongside him?  That’s what they want?  All this time…I never knew.
6. So apparently all you have to do to make rowdy men behave is make them eat breakfast in the nude.  Good to know.
7. Do NOT call a woman “my pet.”  Don’t listen to Millie, boys.  That will get you slapped.
8. So…where’s Adam during all this?  Millie’s spending all her time with his brothers…That could be trouble.
9. I think I would dance more if they were all choreographed like waltzes.  I can dance if someone tells me exactly how to.  Plus, back then, the girls didn’t have to do much.
10. Aw, I want to win the little cow.
11. Wow, those guys are really mean.  Throwing hammers, hitting them with 2 by 4’s…
12. It’s one thing not to start fights, but if a guy threw a hammer in my face, I’d probably throw a punch or two.  Although I probably wouldn’t fight so much that I would destroy a barn.
13. “One woman’s pretty much like the next.”  Wow.  Millie is seriously regretting marrying him.
14. There’s gotta be more stuff to do in the wilderness than just chop wood.
15. Is he telling them to kidnap women?
16. Yep.  He’s telling them to kidnap women.
17. Well, lock 7 women alone in a house for months…there’s gonna be a cat fight.
18. I’m really glad I never had such high hopes for what happens after you get married.  That’s just a major letdown.
19. Adam’s kind of a d-bag.  Being upset about her having a girl instead of a boy?  Wow.
20. Have any of these people ever heard of Stockholm’s Syndrome?

Well, that was silly.  But I do love musicals.

Queen of Outer Space

Lorelai and Rory see this movie in town. – 1.19

I’m psyched for this one.  It looks like a great ‘50’s flick.  I mean, Zsa Zsa Gabor is in it.  What could be better?  Besides an alien queen trying to wipe out all of earth’s men?

1. I would like to think I’m better than this…but there’s something sexy about astronauts.
2. This is the longest spaceship take off scene EVER.
3. Yep…Still taking off.
4. That alien space ray kinda looks like Casper the Friendly Ghost is flying by.
5. These graphics are fantastic.
6. I love it!  The title sequence just came on.
7. I predict that they’ve been transported to the Land of the Lost.
8. Venus?!  Really?  Venus has the same atmosphere and gravity as earth?  That’s a stretch, my astronaut friends.
9. I’m glad women on Venus speak English.  Otherwise this would be very confusing.
10. Oh man, a woman driver joke.  While you’re being held captive by a planet of woman.  That’s smart.
11. Wow Zsa Zsa.  I still can’t understand you, but you were gorgeous in your day.
12. That’s it.  Flirt with the evil alien queen.  That’ll fix everything.  The earth hangs in the balance and all we have to save us is the Captain’s sex appeal.
13. I’m pretty sure Queen Yllana didn’t wipe out all the men on her planet because she could be easily manipulated by an attractive man flirting with her.
14. Ew.  It’s like when the phantom of the opera took off his mask.  Gross.
15. They’re being hunted and potentially killed once they’re found.  And they’re all starting new relationships with Venus women.  Classy, boys.  Classy.
16. Ew!  Giant spider…
17. Poor professor.  No Venus ladies love him.
18. She actually just said “Women can’t be happy without men.”
19. Rookie mistake.  When you’ve caught the bad guy, don’t give them a chance to explain.  Just kill them.
20. The best part of that ending is that the professor turned out to be the playboy of Venus.

I recommend this movie.  It’s funny and very ‘50’s.  I really liked it.

Cabaret

“We can sing the Money song from Cabaret.  You be Liza, I’ll be Joel.” – 1.18

I’m kind of excited for this.  I do love musicals.  I saw Cabaret when my college did it, but I’ve never seen the movie.  And the last time I saw Liza Minnelli was in Sex and the City 2, so I’m hoping this will redeem her a little bit.

1. Wow…Joel was in House M.D.  He played the doctor who just wanted to die.  He’s really old now.
2. Please, I could be one of those dancers.  They’re not very pretty and not very good dancers.  Oh…never mind.  I’m not that flexible.
3. Sally Bowles might be one of the worst names for a character.
4. Interesting…they referenced a movie that Asher Fleming was in…Gilmore Girls, you worlds are colliding…
5. I think even then, Liza looked weird.  I’d like to think she was just born looking weird, but she probably paid a doctor a whole lot of money to look that weird.
6. I just don’t understand mud wrestling.  It’s not like you’re watching hot chicks get naked or something.  You’re watching semi attractive girls become even more unattractive as they roll around and throw mud at each other.
7. She actually just said “Doesn’t my body drive you wild with desire?”
8. It’s probably not a good sign that right after you kiss a woman, she kisses her dog.
9. I love Maybe This Time.  What a great song.
10. There’s a fine line between “pouncing” and rape…thankfully it sounds like Fritz came just shy of rape.
11. That’s awkward…who walks in on a girl while she’s in bed with her boyfriend and brings her champagne…
12. Why would you take a man’s girlfriend out all day, buy her all this expensive stuff, and then bring him a gift at the end of the day?  Like…”Thanks for letting me use your woman for the day, here’s a token for your graciousness.”
13. Michael York is 10 million times more attractive than that stupid Maximilian guy.  For real.
14. No judgement against Sally.  Sometimes when you’re really broke, the idea of having some ridiculously rich guy take care of you doesn’t seem so crazy…  But if he has that creepy stalker ‘stache like Maximilian, I might pass.
15. I wonder how actors feel when they play nazis.  Like if they feel dirty putting on the costume.  Then again, actors who play serial killers win awards…
16. Oh my god!  They killed her dog?!  How come 90% of the movies I’ve watched for this have had a dead animal?
17. Hey, I know some people who are in the International Conspiracy of Organized Horses’ Asses.
18. I am going to be singing that “Welkommen, bienvenue, welcome” song ALL day.
19. If babies solved all the problems, there’d be an even worse population problem than there is.
20. I think Joel should have a Cabaret spin off.  There’s potential there.

Good story.  Like most time period movies, it makes me sad that I was never good at history and therefore never bothered to learn anything about it when I was in school.  Maybe one of these days I’ll teach myself.

Grease

Madeline:  Looks like we’re going to have to do a Pink Ladies makeover on you.

Louise:  We’ll turn you from a sweet Sandy to a slutty Sandy. – 1.18

So, today I’m home sick from work.  What better way to celebrate a sick day than to watch a classic like Grease?  What is there to say about Grease…not much.  So, here goes.

1. My sister showed me this movie the first time I watched it, and she told me the beginning was really boring, but important to the movie.  She probably doesn’t remember that, but I do.  And to this day, I still think I could live without watching John Travolta and Olivia Newton John run around on a beach to Love Is A Many Splendored Thing.
2. I wonder if Grease fans were concerned about this movie coming out like I was when Rent came out.
3. How old were these kids when they made this movie?  They look like they’re 30.
4. “If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.”  That line brought me a lot of comfort in my teens.
5. I’m thinking of introducing myself like Patty Simcox.  ”We’ll have so much fun and be life long friends!”  Thoughts?
6. You know when songs get too familiar and you don’t even listen to the words because it’s just habit?  That’s Summer Lovin’.
7. Hopelessly Devoted To You might be one of my least favorite songs.
8. I love that John Travolta did this, and also played an overweight mother in Hairspray.  He’s so versatile.
9. I love how the first rule for high school gym is cut smoking down to 2 packs a day.
10. I was so proud of myself when I was a kid and realized that the girls in Beauty School Drop Out were Rizzo and the other Pink Ladies.  Seriously.  Really proud.
11. I don’t know what’s wrong with Frenchie.  I would love for a boy to tell me I look like a “beautiful, blonde pineapple.”
12. Rule one is only boy/girl couples?  Not very progressive, Grease.
13. Cha Cha’s not a good dancer, she can just throw her skirt around a lot.  It’s like hairography but with her dress.
14. Apparently you can walk out on a drive-in, Danny.  Yes, you can.
15. We had a carnival day in high school.  It didn’t look like this.
16. Well, I guess all you need to do to be happy with someone is to change yourself into a slutty Sandy.
17. How did they get all those rides for their high school?
18. Aw, sorry guys, but you don’t stay friends forever with the high school gang.
19. Ask my friend Neil about that Tilt-A-Whirl.  Last time I went on one was with him and I got like THIS close to throwing up on him.  I didn’t.  But he’ll never let me live it down.
20. Did anyone ever notice that Alvin and the Chipmunks make a musical cameo at the end?

That was a good blast from the past.  I think everyone should watch Grease again.  I bet it’s been years for most of you.

You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown

Christopher:  Suppertime

Richard:  Did you write that?  That was really very good.

Lorelai:  Dad, that’s from You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown.  It’s a famous musical. – 1.15

This one is really just an excuse to watch a musical.  I know when this was referenced, they meant the play (I’m not that dumb), but I saw the musical once and loved it (I’m a big musical nerd) and saw they had the cartoon version of it, so I jumped all over it.

Now some things to mention:

1. I love that they didn’t use good singers for this.  These kids suck, it’s fantastic.
2. I wonder if Schroeder knew how crazy Beethoven was.
3. This is a musical for people with ADD.
4. Well, obviously Snoopy is more popular than you, Charlie Brown.  He’s like the coolest dog in the world.
5. Schroeder is such a moody musician.  You should get over him, Lucy.
6. Woah, Snoopy.  Chill.
7. Who knew Linus was so smart.  Homeboy carries a blanket around 24/7.
8. Funny story…I was in the kitchen while the movie was on and Charlie Brown was writing to his pen pal and said “Dear Pen Pal”.  From the kitchen it sounded a lot like “Dear Penthouse”.  I had to stop and look to make sure that wasn’t what he said.
9. Why didn’t anyone ever check out Charlie Brown for severe depression?
10. Of course he loves the cute little redheaded girl.  Redheaded girls are AWESOME.
11. It’s suppertime!
12. Ok, this Happiness song is pretty annoying.

Well, that was cute.

Beethoven

Lane:  Ok, what about movies?  You have to have a favorite movie.

Todd:  Yes, I do!

Lane:  Great, what is it?

Todd:  Beethoven!

Lane:  Beethoven.  The one with the dog? – 1.12

Well, the good life can’t last forever.  I’m now back on my tiny red couch in my apartment with 2 cats running around me.  But I missed it while on my business trip.  And, it seems the captions aren’t on for this movie, so it’s even better than what I’m used to.

I was not totally looking forward to watching Beethoven.  It came out 18 years ago, and that’s probably the last time I saw it.  But, I do love dogs, so I can at least enjoy all the dogs in it.  And, I won’t lie, when they showed puppy Beethoven, I may have said out loud “Oh…hello puppy!”  Yeah, I’m that girl.

Now some things to mention:

1. I just can’t be scared by a villain that says “I need puppies.”
2. I always wanted a St. Bernard.  I always thought that as a single girl living alone, it would be nice to have a big ol’ giant scary dog.  Turns out, dogs take a lot of time and attention, that I just don’t have.  So, I got a big ol’ Garfield cat.
3. Oh my goodness, I just want a puppy to hold!
4. I forgot Mark from Step By Step was in this!
5. Ha ha, the oldest girl wanted to name him M.C. Hammer.  I love it.
6. David Duchovny?  What are you doing in this movie?
7. I feel like the 90’s are the awkward, transitional, middle school year of fashion.  But I was awkward, in transition, and in middle school in the 90’s, so that’s probably why.
8. Who uses dogs to test the effectiveness of ammunition?  Can’t you use a dummy?
9. I wish dogs could really judge between good people and people, but the reality is that if you scratch their ears and let them sniff you, they could be murderers and the dog wouldn’t care.
10. OLD SCHOOL NINTENDO!!!  Man this movie brings back memories.
11. Poor Beethoven, it sucks to get framed.
12. Talk about scarring your kids for life by taking their dog away without telling them.
13. This movie is heartbreaking.
14. Maybe when I have a house to live in, and maybe a husband to help watch him, I could get a St. Bernard.  I just want one so bad.
15. It just wouldn’t be a good movie without someone getting bit in the crotch.

So, it’s not exactly award-winning.  There’s like 10 million plot lines, and a lot of unbelievable story points…but all in all, it’s cute, and as cheesy as they are, I do have a soft spot for dog movies.  And it was nice to watch a mindless kid movie.